


First Love Second Chance

by eatapeachallday



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: Arguing, Break Up, Domestic Violence, Engagement, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Love, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Romance, Sequel, Shameless Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 17:21:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 42,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7541380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatapeachallday/pseuds/eatapeachallday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in 2002 eight years after Q and Me. This story continues in the lives of Toni and Brian as they reconnect as 26 year olds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Catch up

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this one xx 
> 
> As always comments and feedback are welcome as they help me develop. 
> 
> Thanks xx

September 2002 Staten Island University Hospital.

There are approximately 470,000 people living on Staten Island. At this moment in time Toni felt she had dealt with every single one of them since her shift had started at six this morning. She was bone tired. She thought the past eight years in Med School had given her a good grounding in how to cope with exhaustion but having just started her three year residency she knew that it was only going to get harder. She also knew that this came with being an ER Doctor. Trauma was tiring. 

She had transferred back to SI a month ago having been offered her choice of Hospital to complete her eleven year training programme. She had loved living in the City but was glad to come home closer to her Father and Brother again. Her Father was still working in the Fire service. He was active and had met a lovely lady called Carol. Toni loved to see him happy and they were living together in her family home. Mikey was married to Chanel , Toni's former housemate and now close friend. They had been married for nearly a year and there was talk of starting a family. Frankie was now living in San Francisco with his partner Jimmy. They were running a bar there and loving it. They nagged Toni constantly to get out there to see them and she kept promising that she'd find the time. 

Looking at the clock and noting she only had another forty minutes to go she headed to the nearest free space to write up her notes and hopefully she could then head home. She had an apartment near the Hospital and it would only take her ten minutes to walk there. She couldn't wait to sink into a deep warm bath and pull on her pj's. Still fantasising about this scenario as she talked through her notes with the head nurse on night shift she handed over her cases and again made sure that everything was up to date and running smoothly before she left. She almost made it.

Just as Toni signed her last form she felt her pager vibrate. Looking at the small screen it gave a number. Ringing it she was connected to a paramedic team who were on route. A house fire. Three burn victims and a couple of concussed firefighters. Time of arrival expected in five minutes probably less. Toni hung up and started shouting instructions and gathering equipment. She notified plastics as well. Hopefully they could limit the damage done by the flames. Hearing the ambulance pull up outside she joined her team to start working again.


	2. Unnoticed

The casualties arrived and Toni was put to work with one of the firefighters. He was confused and groggy but his vitals were stable and Toni wasn't overtly worried about him. She kept a close watch on him and cleaned his face of the soot that had gathered there. She started rehydration and then as he became calmer and more coherent she could question him on what had happened. The company had been called to a house fire. They had managed to get the three occupants out but just before the left the rapidly crumbling building a beam had fallen catching the two remaining firemen across the back of their heads and upper back. Toni requested a scan to double check for any fractures that weren't apparent from her physical examination. It looked like her patient who's name was Devon had been very lucky to get out with just some bruising . He was going to be sore but ok. He asked her to check on the other fighter who had been admitted and she agreed. Leaving him with a nurse for observation she left the room to check. 

The other fighters of Ladder 86 were waiting anxiously in the visitors area. Noticing Toni leave the room that held their Brother the Chief approached her quickly.  
" Excuse me Doc. Any news on Dev and Jackson yet? "  
Toni stopped and took his extended hand in a quick shake. " I'm looking after Devon and as long as his scan comes back clear I'm happy with his condition. He's alert and I'm confident he'll be ok. I'll want him to stay overnight for obs but otherwise fine. I'm going to check on our other firefighter now and I'll let you know ASAP."'  
"Thank you Doc that's good news. I'll let the other guys know and we'll wait if that's ok"  
Nodding her head Toni left him to find out how Jackson was getting on.  
Finding the right room she knocked and entered. A quick conference with the other Dr, her friend George, she learnt that he had also been lucky but probably had a crush injury to his shoulder and would need to have some time and possibly a small operation to correct this. George was happy for her to let the team know so they could clear the waiting area and get the men settled in for the night. Toni left the room and looked for the Chief who she had spoken to earlier. Seeing her approach he called his team together and they waited for the Doctor to tell them the news.  
" How's it going Doc?"  
Toni smiled at the worried faces and explained what was going on. They were relieved that there was nothing serious and thanked her profusely. Toni left them with kind words and headed back to Devon. They began to file out all more than ready to get some rest after the near miss this afternoon. 

She hadn't noticed Brian Quinn who was at the back of the group.He however had known who she was as soon as he laid eyes on her. He had no idea she was working on the Island and for a second he had doubted his own eyes. She looked good. She'd cut her hair a little shorter and it was lighter with honey coloured highlights running through it. Even in the blue scrubs she wore her body looked fit and healthy. Her eyes still shone when she smiled even if they looked tired. Her laugh was exactly as it had been, deep and sexy, and listening to it as she exchanged conversation with the Chief it was if he had been transported back to the summers they had spent together as teens. He made no attempt to approach her or make himself known. He left with the others and gave himself time to think about the fact that Toni was back. 

Toni checked back in and found Devon flirting with Jackie the nurse looking after him and assessed he must be feeling better. Checking his scan results she found no signs of fracture and telling him that he needed to stay in tonight he made no argument.  
Finally she managed to leave the Hospital and made it home by nine. Running her bath she heard her roommate arrive home too.  
" You home Ton?"  
" Yeah I'm in the bathroom Dane"  
Dane's head came around the door. He had a grin on his face and Toni couldn't help but smile back. He'd been in her bad books this morning when she found his latest conquest, a guy who called himself Troy, but she doubted that was his real name, naked and sprawled over the couch.  
" Sorry about T this morning babe. I couldn't shift him last night."  
" Yeah, well you should be apologising to the couch. He was sweating and gross."  
Laughing Dane apologised again and offered to cook.  
" Yeah go on then. Give me ten minutes."  
" Take your time Dr S. " he left her to get started and she sank into the scented water with a sigh of bliss.  
As they ate they told tales of their day and Dane was thrilled and jealous of her encounter with the firemen.  
Dane worked as a waiter while he waited for his big break in the movies. He had been in a few off Broadway plays and could sing beautifully but since she had known him which had now been eight years he didn't seem to have the killer instinct needed to push him further. She knew he was secretly happy as he was. He told her about an horrendous customer he'd had to eject from the restaurant that day and they laughed until they cried.  
Finally sinking into bed at 11.30 Toni went out like a light which wasn't a surprise. She had to get up again at five and do it all over again.


	3. Love lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we find out what's been going on in the pairs romantic lives.

Walking into the Station the next morning Brian checked in with the Chief. They chatted and he was glad to hear that Dev and Jack were OK and expected to be released that afternoon. Jackson needed some physio on his shoulder and would be off but hopefully not for too long. Heading deeper into the station he was greeted by the rest of the guys. They worked together to do all the checks and tests on the equipment. Some of the others went to pick up Dev from the Hospital and take him home. Brian decided to stay behind.   
It had been a jolt to his system seeing Toni yesterday and he still couldn't quite process it. It had been a hard couple of years for him romantically speaking. He'd met Marie at twenty one and fallen for her. She was lovely and they shared a lot of interests. He had thought she was someone he wanted to spend his life with and have the house with the white picket fence, kids, pets, the whole nine yards. He had gone all out. Bought the diamond, romantic proposal, engagement party.Spent time picking out colour schemes and invitations. Two weeks before the wedding she had confessed that she had met someone else and that was that. To say he had been gutted was the understatement of all time. He was pretty much broken for the first six months. He was still not back to normal years later and he didn't think he ever would be. Yeah , he still got plenty of attention from the ladies. Being a tall,dark , good looking fireman guaranteed that he could get lucky when he wanted to but he was guarded now and nothing ever became serious. Starting his exercise regime he pushed everything out of his mind and concentrated on the task at hand. 

Toni had discharged Devon and was working her way around the rest of her patients. In between this she filed reports and updated notes. She was constantly busy and the day passed quickly but without serious incident. She managed to get away on time for the first time since she had started in the Hospital. Skipping out the doors calling goodnight to her colleagues she hurried home. Turning onto her street she cursed seeing the black Porche parked out side her apartment. She had totally forgotten that Jensen was taking her out tonight. Rushing now she walked to the flat to greet him. 

Jensen Parker was Toni's fiancé. They had been together for eighteen months and he had proposed under a canopy of twinkling lights in Central Park a month ago on her birthday. He had set up an outdoor restaurant just for her and after dinner and champagne under the stars he had presented her with an obscene diamond. He worked on Wall Street and was very successful. He owned his own companies and worked extremely hard. Toni was crazy about him and he about her. They had met when he had come into the ER in Manhattan for stitches following a racing accident. He had been out at the track and momentarily lost control hitting his head on the dashboard of the powerful sports car. She had patched him up and he had asked her out.  
Calling out her Hello she walked into the kitchen to find Jensen and Dane chatting. Pulling her into his arms he kissed her deeply. Ignoring the wolf whistling from her roommate she pulled away. " I'm sorry I didn't know you were coming so early."   
" I got out of my meeting earlier so thought I'd come straight over. Dane's been entertaining me. "   
" I bet he has" she grinned looking over at Dane who adored Jensen. He literally couldn't do enough for him and she knew he had a little crush on him.   
Toni found it funny and teased him when Jensen wasn't around.   
" I'll just get changed and I'm all yours."   
" Ok Hon." He slapped her ass gently as she turned to leave.   
Twenty minutes later Toni was ready and they left to enjoy time together. Slipping into the sleek sports car Toni settled down in the leather seat and Jensen sped her away for a fun night out.


	4. Photographs and Memories

Whenever Brian got chance he would go to Joe's house to catch up with his friends. Since they had graduated from college Sal and Joe were living on SI. James was staying in Manhattan as he was involved with a television production company and it was easier for work. James had gotten the friends together not long after his return and suggested they pursue their improv. The others agreed and The Tenderloins were formed. They tried to write sketches and practise at least once a week. They really enjoyed spending the time together chilling out and having some laughs.   
Arriving earlier than the others Joe greeted him and they sat together in his basement having a beer and chatting.   
" Guess who I saw this week?"   
" Was it that hot chick Mimi you were seeing a few months ago? Aww man you should pursue that." Joe smiled at his friend. He loved spending one on one time with Q. He found that Bri tended to pull back a little when they were all together now and he liked seeing his friend being more open. He knew that Brian wasn't the same as he had been before the whole fiancée debacle and he hoped that given time he would find himself again.   
Q smiled and shook his head. " Toni"   
" Toni? as in THE Toni?"   
" Yeah the Toni. She's working at the Uni Hospital. "   
" Holy shit! What did you say to her? Was she looking good man?"  
" Yeah she looked good. Didn't get chance to say anything to her.She was busy and I didn't really know what to say...."   
" Funny thing is I was looking through some of my boxes the other day. Having a sort out ya know and well ..." Joe got up and went over to a chest. Opening it up he pulled out a shoe box and brought it back over with him. Sitting next to Q on the couch he handed it to him.   
" Take a look".   
Q opened up the lid and pulled out a stack of photos. As he looked through them he smiled. They were of all the gang back in the day. Photos of them at the beach. Pulling stupid faces at the camera. Murrs legendary Fourth of July parties. Flicking through he found one of him and Toni kissing. She had her hand in his hair and they were lost in each other totally unaware that they had been snapped.   
" You were really into each other." Joe reminded him. " Fun times."   
" Mind if I keep this one?" Q asked and Joe nodded his approval. Hearing the doorbell Joe left to greet the others and Quinn studied the picture again before slipping it into his coat pocket.

Walking back with Sal later that night they were still talking about their school days. When he had told Murr and Sal about seeing Toni it had started them off and their entire night had been dedicated to reminiscing about that time and how much fun they had.  
" Do you think I should approach her?" Brian blurted out. He had been thinking about it on and off for the last few days and wanted to get it off his chest.   
Sal looked at his friend and shrugged. He knew how Brian was with women these days and didn't know how best to advise him.   
" Do you mean just Hey how are you Toni , how've you been ? or do you mean Hey Toni you're looking hot would you like to fuck me again?"   
Brian laughed out loud at Sal's directness. He knew he could rely on him to be real.   
" I don't know. A little from column A , a little from column B "   
Now Sal laughed. " Hell I don't know man. Things didn't end so great as I remember. Prehaps better to let it lie."   
" Yeah. I guess you're right."   
Leaving that thread there they talked about other things until they reached Sal's place.   
" See ya tomorrow night?"   
" Oh yeah the bar thing. What time do you want me there again?"   
Sal shook his head. He had just bought into a bar on Staten Island with some friends and they were busy doing improvements ready for a grand opening on the weekend. He had asked Q to come over and help paint the walls.   
" When can you make it? "   
" I'm on rest until Monday so any time. How about six?. I'll pick you up"   
" Sounds good. See you tomorrow then."  
" Night Sal".   
" So are you gonna see her?" Sal couldn't resist asking.   
Brian didn't turn around or reply just raised his hand and waved goodnight.


	5. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni gets a surprise.

The grand re-opening was tonight and Sal was stressed. He was barking orders at his friends telling them where to position tables and chairs while he did another stock check making sure that he had ordered enough booze and snacks for tonight. The guys held their tongues. They knew when everything was done to Sal's standards he would calm down and chill out again. Besides they had a night of free drinking ahead so they couldn't really complain. Looking up from his now completed list he smiled.  
" Sorry. I know I'm a pain in the ass."  
" You got that right! " but Joey was laughing as he said it and Sal knew he was forgiven. Grabbing cold beers from the fridge behind the bar he cracked them open and the four friends gathered together to toast the success of Sal's new venture. 

Toni couldn't believe she actually had a weekend off. It was like the mythical golden unicorn when you were a new resident and she knew it would probably be her last for a while so she intended to make the most of it. She and Dane had been planning this for weeks since she had received her shift rota, and had contacted friends to set up plans. However as the day drew closer friends started to drop out and what was a group of thirty dwindled to ten. Toni knew better than to be disappointed. When time off was so rare and precious , people wanted to spend time with family and do their own things. As their numbers were now lower they shelved plans to go into the City and decided to stay closer to home. Dane had heard from Troy that there was a bar opening party close to them and when he told Toni about it she readily agreed. It was stumbling distance to get home so they didn't need to worry about cabs and they could really let their hair down. It was also going to be a lot cheaper. Toni rang Carla and Chanel to confirm what the plans were. Carla was married to a lovely guy called Jay. They had met in college and moved back to the Island when they graduated. They had two kids William and Ryan and Toni and Del were their Godmothers. Del had moved away to California and they didn't hear from her regularly. Every so often she would phone and catch up but she was so busy that times between calls were longer and longer. 

Toni took her time getting ready. She wanted to savour the feeling of not having to rush around for once. She had gone to the salon to have her hair done first thing. Her highlights were freshened up and she had some shorter layers cut so her hair was bouncy and light. Following that she went to get her nails done. Picking a rich red colour she relaxed and sipped some crisp white wine as her hands and feet were pampered.  
Arriving home she called Chanel and Mikey who were coming over for pre game drinks and had a bath.  
She had just emerged when Dane and Troy came in from their gym and tanning session. Leaving them to do their own primping she went into her room to start her make up and decide what to wear tonight. Hearing the phone ring she paused to see if Dane would grab it but when it was evident he wasn't going to she got up and went out to answer.  
" Hello?"  
"Hi Sweetheart" it was Jensen. Hearing his voice she smiled. She was looking forward to spending some time with him tonight.  
" Hi. What time are you getting here? Chan and Mike are coming by six for drinks and we thought..." He cut her off mid sentence.  
" Sorry Toni that's why I'm calling. I'm going to be stuck here all night. I'm waiting for a call from Tokyo and I can't miss it. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you babe."  
Toni was deflated. They got to spend so little time together as it was and now this. She tried to understand but it was hard.  
" No worries. You're still coming to Dads tomorrow right?" They had promised to go for Sunday lunch with her Father and Carol as well as Chanel and Mikey.  
" I'll be there. I promise."'  
" Ok then I guess I'll see you tomorrow."  
" Tomorrow. Have a great time babe."  
Toni heard the phone disconnect and shaking off her disappointment she went back in to get ready. 

A few hours later and the drinks were flowing. They had started early and were pleasantly mellow by the time they left the apartment to meet up with the others at the local bar. Toni looked good and felt confident. She knew she had a good figure and made the most of it in a cute red dress. Teamed with the black Louboutins that Dane had persuaded her to splash out on she felt great. She felt eyes on her but having no interest she ignored any flirty smiles and drink offers that came her way. When everyone was ready they walked the short distance to Full Cup the new bar in town. 

The bar was packed and loud. Pushing their way through the crowd they were lucky to find that a group were just leaving and jumped onto their table. The music was loud . Hot in Herre by Nelly was playing and the dance floor was heaving with sweaty bodies. Dane and Troy went to fight their way to the bar and the rest of the group chatted and swayed with the music. Arriving back with a tray of shots which were quickly downed they hit the dance floor and lost themselves in the music and the amazing atmosphere. 

Brian and James were sitting by the bar. Joe didn't really enjoy drinking and as a lightweight had left an hour ago. They watched as Sal and the other bar tenders kept up with the orders and were proud of their friend. The night was going great and there was a buzz in the air. It looked like this was going to be a success. Moving from the bar to use the restroom Brian made his way through the crowd. He had spotted some hotties earlier and scanned the large room to see if they were still here. Instead he saw Toni. 

Toni was still loving the music and was grinding with Dane on the floor. Her hair was flying as she shook her head and moved to the beat. She was sweaty and tired but didn't care. She hadn't felt so free in ages and she let herself go laughing as Dane swooped her up and spun her around. Eventually freeing herself from her hyperactive best friend Toni giggled and grabbing Chanel and Carla the three girls made their way to the restrooms. They took the opportunity to swap stories as they slicked on fresh lipstick and eyeliner and pulled brushes through their hair. Still talking as they made their way back to the guys Toni bumped into someone. Looking up with an apology ready on her lips she was stunned to find herself looking into Brian Quinn's dark chocolatey brown eyes. The words died in her throat as he leaned in close to her ear and whispered " Hi Princess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying the story xx


	6. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni's not feeling too good :)

Toni woke up with a groan. Her eyes were heavy and her head was pounding an insistent beat.Opening one eye she glanced at the clock and found it was already ten am. Jensen would be picking her up at twelve to go for lunch. Reluctantly she left the messy bed and glad to find the room was no longer spinning she gingerly made her way to the bathroom. Turning on the shower to warm up she assessed herself in the mirror. She hadn't taken off her make up and looked like The Joker on crack.Holy crap what had she drunk last night?. Stepping into the shower she stood under the hot cascade and soaping her hair and body she thought back to the previous night. 

Looking up at him she had totally frozen. She found that she literally couldn't speak. She just about managed to croak out a noise before Carla rescued her by flinging herself at Quinn with a earsplitting shriek. As they exchanged warm greetings Toni slipped back to the group with Chanel. She needed to get her head around seeing him after so long. The fact that he looked so damn good really wasn't helping. Picking up her drink she downed it as Chanel asked her who the hunk was.  
Shaking her head Toni replied " Brian Quinn. He's an old friend."  
" Hot damn girl he's fine. Whew! Mikey's lucky he's so good to me or I could seriously be tempted by some of that."  
Toni smiled but didn't add anymore. She could see Carla coming back with Quinn and Murr in tow and she sank down on her seat and hoped it would swallow her up.  
" Look who I found! " she ushered the two men into seats as Toni continued to down the shots lined up on the tray in front of her. She avoided eye contact with Q but greeted Murr who came over to give her a big hug and kisses.  
" Toni! So good to see you. It's been too long."  
" Hi James. You look great. How've you been?"  
Murr filled her in on his busy life and she on hers and they chatted for a long time.  
" You know you can't avoid him all night right? " Murr was grinning at her.  
" I can but try James."  
Murr laughed, took her drink order and headed to the bar. Seeing his chance Brian moved into the now vacant seat next to Toni.  
" That's a hell of a rock you've got there." He was of course referring to Toni's engagement ring. Normally the diamond was on a necklace when she was in work but tonight it was where it should be.  
" Don't you mean congratulations on your engagement?"  
Quinn snorted. " I knew as soon as I saw him that you'd end up with Dane."  
Toni looked at him and unable to hold it in started laughing in his face. " You're still an asshole!" She pointed to the dance floor where Dane and Troy were currently embroiled in a very public display of affection.  
Quinn felt his face go red. " I thought..."  
" Yeah , well you were wrong. "  
" Sorry. "  
" Yeah right. " Toni shook her head.  
James was back with her drink and she accepted it with a smile then taking his hand she took him to off to dance.  
When they got back to the table exhausted but happy, Quinn was gone. 

Stepping out of the shower Toni felt a lot better and she quickly dried her hair and dressed. Sipping a cup of coffee she sat and relished the peace before Dane surfaced. She was still going over her interaction with Quinn from the night before in her head and she couldn't believe that they had been spoiling for an argument straight away. She guessed that they would always just rub each other the wrong way somehow. When things were good with them they were great. But when they had argued boy had they gone for it. She shook her head as if this could dislodge the memories of him. She hadn't thought about him for eight years and she didn't want to start again now. Hearing Dane groan she smiled and got up to pour him a coffee too. 

Knocking on his door gently she heard him call her in and she entered with his caffeine fix and a glass of water. Popping two pills in his outstretched hand he thanked her and she sat down next to him on the bed.  
" I think last night was a success" he grinned as he swallowed his pain relief." This headache may even be worth it."  
" It was fun. I hope Chan & Mikey got home ok."  
" They'll be fine. I saw them fall into a cab myself. I also saw that delicious ex of yours watching us leave."  
Toni spluttered nearly choking on her coffee as Dane laughed.  
" Are you kidding? Where was he? "  
" Standing by the bar as I picked you up and flung you over my shoulder. I don't think I've ever seen you so drunk."  
" Did he say anything? "  
Dane raised a perfect eyebrow at her " Not to me but I know he asked Chanel for details about you." Raising a hand to stop her question he added " No I don't know what he asked but they were talking for a while."  
Toni didn't know why but there was a definite fluttering in her stomach. Trying to act nonchalant she told Dane she was going to get ready to go to her Dads and he turned over to get some more sleep. 

Jensen picked her up as scheduled and they made their way to her home. To Toni her Dads house would always be home. It was where she was raised from birth and all her happiest memories revolved around this place. Pulling up outside Jensen kissed her and they went inside to join her family. Lunch was a roast with all the trimmings and they all talked loudly and enjoyed.  
Toni and Chanel insisted on doing the washing up as Carol had cooked and so they were left in the kitchen alone.  
" How are you feeling today?"  
" Like hell on earth. How bout you?"  
" Yeah pretty much" Toni laughed as she looked at Chanels face. She still looked a little green and had barely eaten anything for lunch.  
Toni didn't know how to ask Chanel directly what had been said between her and Brian last night , and truth be told she wasn't sure if she even should. Her fiancé was in the next room watching sport with her Dad and her brother and she felt a little disloyal about her curiosity. Luckily Chanel saved her from having to ask.  
" So that guy Brian was prying last night." Chanel whispered looking at her with a grin.  
Toni couldn't help herself. " What did he say? "'  
"Not a whole lot really but he did ask about Jensen. Wanted to know who you were with, how long, he tried to be discreet about it but I could tell he wanted all the details. He asked if you were happy."'  
" What did you say to that?"  
" I told him of course you are. I've never seen you so happy girl."  
Toni smiled at her friend and sister. " Thanks Chanel"  
Finishing up they cleaned the counters and put the dishes away.  
" One thing though.... I just remembered ...he asked for your number. I don't know if I gave it to him."  
Toni looked at her and felt her stomach turn. " What do you mean you don't remember!?"'  
" I was wasted Ton, I don't know if I did or not. Sorry babe but I figured if he's a friend..."  
" Yeah... Don't worry about it Chan. "'  
Chanel left the room and Toni followed her into the den but for the rest of the afternoon she kept wondering if she would soon be getting a phone call from her past.


	7. Appointment

Two weeks passed and Toni hadn't heard anything from Quinn. She had stopped worrying about it either way. She figured if he was going to call he would have done so by now. She was busy as always. The hospital was always crazy and if she was on a rest day she spent it with Jensen. They were starting to tentatively make plans for the wedding and he was insisting they went all out. He wanted to book the whole Plaza Hotel just for them and their guests. He wanted every room decorated in their chosen colours. His ideas were huge, fabulous, and very, very, expensive. Toni knew he could afford it but felt differently. She knew her Dad would want to pay for her wedding himself as he had always told her he would. She knew it meant a lot to him and didn't want to make him feel like he couldn't. She had always pictured a small wedding with family and friends in a laid back setting where everyone could just relax and enjoy the day. 

Toni was starting to feel like Jensen wasn't listening to her and she was getting frustrated. She had tried to learn to control her temper over the years and in her profession it was very important. However she had just left him at his place in the City and she was raging. He had presented her with a guest list of nearly five hundred people.They were just the ones he wanted to invite. Her friends and family were nowhere to be seen. He explained that they were all important to his work and they needed to be invited. Toni had looked at him and wondered what the hell was going on. It was obvious that they were poles apart on this whole issue and she knew she needed to get away for a while. Stuffing the list in her bag she had feigned a headache and she was now on the Ferry ride home. 

Brian was busy too. He worked long shifts and extra hours when needed. He loved being at the Station with his firefighting brothers loving the camaraderie that came with being with the guys and women there. He had gotten Toni's digits from Chanel. He looked at the scrap of bar mat at he had written it down on every day as he kept it in his wallet but hadn't picked up the phone. Chanel had told him about the boyfriend. Some Wall Street dude with endless pockets who looked like a Calvin Klein model. He knew he couldn't compete with that. Still he hadn't thrown the number away . Deep way down inside he kept a spark burning that maybe one day he'd be able to call her and they could talk like they had years ago. For now he concentrated on work and on his days off he spent them with his friends and sometimes with the casual encounters he met in bars. However learning Devon had an upcoming appointment with his ex changed things. 

A few days later and Toni had an afternoon dedicated to patients coming back in for check ups and rehab after discharge from her care. Toni liked to make sure that recovery was going well and everything was as it should be. The clinic was full but running to time. Toni and the other residents worked efficiently. Looking down at her files she saw that Devon Michaels was next. Flicking through the notes she refreshed her memory on the firefighters condition and then came out to call him through. Stepping into the hallway she looked around for Devon as she remembered his face. Spotting him sitting further down she approached him and his companion.  
" Hi Devon do you want to follow me please?"  
Devon looked up at her with a smile as did Brian Quinn who was sitting next to him. Toni's reactions were better today due to the fact she wasn't hammered and she managed to keep a neutral face when he grinned at her.  
" Thank you Doc. Do you mind if my friend Quinn here comes in with me. I'm a bit squeamish about all this medical jumbo jumbo and he'll take stuff in that I can't."  
" If you're happy then that's fine by me" Toni started walking and the two men followed her back to the room.  
Of course Brian had filled Devon in briefly on his shared past with Toni whilst they were waiting and Devon had his back. Brian needed an in and he was happy to help him out.  
" Ok Devon if you can sit up here for me please" Toni pointed out the medical bed and Devon got on as instructed. Quinn took a chair and watched Toni examine Dev in silence. She checked him out and asked him numerous questions. She didn't acknowledge that he was there at all. Watching her he was impressed. True, he wasn't an expert but she was calm and professional. She had a good rapport with her patient and made them feel relaxed. Watching her write notes up quickly Devon tipped him a wink and excused himself to go to the restroom.  
Taking his chance Quinn didn't hesitate.Jumping up on the bed in front of her he raised his thick eyebrow.  
" So Dr Santiago, do you think you can give me the once over as well?"  
Toni ignored the flirting.  
" I didn't know you were in the service. How long have you been in?"  
Dropping the act he answered " Not long. Training took a year and I fully qualified about six months ago."  
" Do you like it?"  
" I love it. Best decision I ever made."  
Toni smiled at his words. She was glad he was content. Looking at him now up close she could see he was in good shape. His arms were muscled and toned. His chest was broad and even through his tshirt she could see muscle definition. His hair was close cropped but still that rich dark colouring. Realising she was assessing him a little too closely Toni turned back to her notes.  
" Do you want to go to lunch one day or something? It'd be nice to catch up properly." Quinn was as shocked as she was to hear himself speak these words. He hadn't planned on saying anything but as they spilled from him he instinctively didn't regret them. He did want to catch up with her. He wanted to talk and laugh with her like they used to do so easily. He held his breath waiting for her response.  
Toni was stunned. This was the last thing she had expected him to say. Feeling a little flustered she nodded out a " Yes ,ok , that sounds good." And before she could second guess herself she wrote down her number again for him and ripped it off.  
" Call me if you like. If I'm ever free we can meet up."  
Grinning Brian took the number from her outstretched hand. At that moment Devon came back figuring if Quinn hadn't sorted himself out by now then it was tough luck. Toni gave him the all clear and shaking hands with them both they left her to continue with her next patient.  
" So how did it go in there?" Devon muttered as they left the building.  
Q showed Devon the number before slipping it into his wallet next to the beer mat.  
" Alright! " grinning at each other they headed back to the station.


	8. Just like old times

Quinn had managed to pin Toni down to a time when they could meet up. It had taken three weeks but finally they both had an afternoon free to go to lunch. He had arranged to meet her in a small diner downtown where they wouldn't be distracted by anything or anyone else. He was feeling incredibly unsure of himself and had changed clothes a few times. Finally settling on his usual combo of T-shirt with another shirt thrown over the top he reasoned that this wasn't a date or anything so there was no need to go smart. He tried and almost managed to convince himself that this was no big deal. Just a catch up with an old friend. Sighing, and giving up on his own reasoning he started over , picking out the new black shirt he had bought last week just for today. 

Toni made her way to meet Brian. She had taken the bus part way and was now walking the rest of the short distance. The cold December air bit at her face but Toni didn't mind. It cleared her head and let her think. Thanksgiving had come and gone and the Christmas decorations in the stores and on the streets were cheerful. Toni enjoyed being able to soak in the Christmas feeling. The last few weeks had been particularly stressful with a major accident occurring on Thanksgiving. She had missed out on time with her family to help deal with the aftermath and she needed to unwind. Finding her destination she swallowed down the nagging feeling that she shouldn't have agreed to this and entered the warm eatery. 

The place was nice. There were Christmas songs playing softly in the background and there were a few patrons dotted around but it was pretty quiet overall. Brian stood up and lifted his hand when he saw her enter and she made her way over to join him. As she reached the table and slipped off her coat they exchanged greetings and Toni sat down opposite him in the booth. Between their orders being taken and the drinks arriving they sat in awkward silence. Toni felt torn about being here. She knew it wasn't fair on Jensen and no matter that she had told herself over and over that this wasn't anything to feel guilty about , looking at Brian now he was in such close proximity she knew she had been lying to herself. He looked really good and a flashback of a particularly memorable scene from their lovelife popped into her head. She could feel herself blush and hoped to God he didn't notice. 

For his part Brian was just glad she was here. Up until she had walked in he had been wondering if she would show or not. She looked amazing in a pair of black jeans and a polo neck top. He also noted the sexy knee high black boots and allowed himself a small smile at the thought of her wearing just those. Her hair was loose and a little wind blown but that just gave it a tousled look. She was quiet and he didn't know where to start. Keeping it neutral he asked her about work and they soon fell into conversation. After a few minutes they both relaxed and it became more natural. They ate and before they noticed two hours had flown by. They avoided any mention of romantic involvements but his eyes did land on the engagement ring a few times as she subconsciously played with it as they talked. Finally leaving the diner as it started to get dark outside they stood on the sidewalk to say their goodbyes.  
" Thanks for this Bri. It's been good to see you. "  
" Yeah, it's been fun catching up. Prehaps we can do it again soon? "  
Nodding her head she agreed.  
He held out his arms and she moved into his embrace without thinking. He held her in a warm hug and breathed in her scent. His nose was in her hair and he dropped a small kiss on her head.  
Moving back and away from him quickly as if she had been stung he kicked himself. He had crossed a line.  
"Well take care and maybe I'll see you around Brian." She stepped away and with her hand raised in goodbye she turned and left him. He watched her make her way quickly up the street until she was swallowed by the crowd.


	9. Guilty Kisses

Christmas Eve was a quiet shift at the Hospital. Toni was glad. It had been totally mad the last few days but as the holidays drew closer things actually started to calm down. She had managed to get all her shopping done between shifts and was ready to go thanks to Dane wrapping everything for her. She was really excited as both Frankie and Del were coming back for the break. She hadn't seen either of them in forever and couldn't wait. Making sure everyone and everything was as it should be she made her final rounds for the night and left at eight pm.  
As she got home she noted the melancholy music blaring from Danes room. She knocked on the door and hearing him make a noise she opened it up. He was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, and although not crying at the moment, his eyes were red and it was obvious he had just stopped.  
Toni stepped into his space and turned down Everybody hurts by REM, Danes go to song when he was upset, she sat by his long legs and waited for him to spill it.  
It didn't take long. " He's a complete asshole Toni."  
" What happened? "  
" I was getting a coffee at the Mall with Jose earlier and I spotted Troy going into Banana Republic. Now, the first thing I thought was I hope he's not getting me anything from there.."  
Toni smiled and shook her head as Dane continued  
" So we went over to snoop a little and caught him in the women's section helping his WIFE pick out a , if I'm totally honest, frankly hideous dress."  
" How do you know she was his wife?"  
" Well, you know me, I went over to them all smiles and introduced myself to her. As we're chatting I pull him in for a hug and drop a kiss on his cheek and she looks like she's about to spontaneously combust "  
" Holy shit!"  
" Yeah, Holy shit indeed.And you were right Ton, his names not Troy, it's Russell."  
Toni couldn't help herself and started laughing out loud. Dane watched her crack up and couldn't help but smile himself.  
" You know,they say the only way to recover from heartbreak is a good stiff...""  
" Don't say it! " Toni spluttered still laughing.  
" Drink. I was going to say drink! I need a drink.C'mon babes how bout it? Let's go out."  
Toni looked at her friend and sighed. The last thing she felt like at that moment was going back out. She had to do a short shift tomorrow and then had to attend Christmas dinner with Jensens family. But she knew he'd drop everything for her so she agreed.  
" Yay!" Dane leapt from the bed and started shooing her into the bathroom.  
" I'm not going far, and I'm not going glam" she warned him and he agreed. 

An hour later they found their way to Full Cup. She wasn't expecting it to be full and was pleasantly surprised to find it busy and lively inside. She had learned that Sal was the owner from Brian when they had met up and keen to see if her friend was working here tonight she volunteered to get the first round in. Dane went to find a seat and she approached the bar. 

Sal was happy. The bar was a big success and he loved working there. He felt that his instincts were spot on and he was doing well. He had loyal customers and had started to get regulars that he recognised. It was also a place where his friends could gather and hang out with him while he worked. Tonight all four of them were together. Quinn had the holidays free as did Murr and Joe. They were all sat at Sal's end of the bar drinking and singing along to the songs as they came on the Jukebox. Noticing a hottie waiting at the other end of the bar Sal made his way up to serve her.  
It was only as he reached her that he recognised Toni. He knew that Q had met up with her, and she had been here in opening night but he hadn't managed to actually see her. Greeting her now he looked quickly up towards where Quinn was drinking and tried to discreetly get his attention. It was no good. The three others were busy fooling around and weren't looking at him.  
" Hey girl look at you!" Sal leaned over the bar to wrap his arms around her.  
Toni smiled at him. Sal had changed since she last saw him. A lot. She knew him as a scrawny looking boy. He had been kinda awkward. Now he had filled out a little and looked great. She always had thought he was too skinny. He looked really handsome and he had an easy confidence about him now.  
" Sal, you look great. How are you? How's all this going?"  
" I'm loving it. It's really going great Ton, and I hear you're a big shot Dr now huh?"  
Toni laughed and shook her head. " Far from it. I'm on the bottom rung.Trust me. I have a long way to go yet."  
They chatted easily back and fore and Toni ordered drinks. Spotting Sal looking down the end of the bar as he got her order together she followed his gaze and saw Quinn looking right at her. 

Brian was watching Toni chatting to Sal debating wether to approach her or not. The last time they met she practically ran away when he had finally managed to get ahold of her. She finally noticed him looking and made the decision for him. She raised her hand in greeting and was walking down to meet them. Joe had now spotted her too and jumped up to pull her into a bear hug. Laughing Toni hugged him back and greeted them all with smiles.Wondering what was taking her so long with the drinks Dane came back to the bar and after introductions to Sal and Joe they all sat together to catch up. Brian watched her laughing and relaxing with his friends and every so often their eyes would meet. When they did she would quickly look away from him and focus on the others and it was annoying. Yeah he knew the situation with her, but that didn't mean they couldn't be friends. Although in reality, he knew he was kidding himself about that.Since their lunch meeting he'd been thinking about her. A lot. The picture Joe had given him was now on his bedroom mirror and he looked at it everyday. He knew he wasn't helping himself but he couldn't stop the thoughts of her. That was Brian's trouble. He was so intense sometimes, he even pissed himself off. A full hour passed and he had just about given up on getting her to himself when she excused herself to pop out for a smoke. Waiting for a minute he tipped Sal a wink, which was met with a small smile and a shake of his head Brian followed her path out to the back of the bar. 

He found her sitting at an outside table, cigarette in hand but not lit. She was just looking at it. She only very very rarely found herself craving nicotine and it was usually when she was stressed. She was debating with herself on if she actually wanted this or not when he sat down beside her. She instantly lit up and took the smoke in deep to her lungs. She didn't know why he made her feel so nervous but this action did help to calm her and outwardly you wouldn't guess that her insides felt like they were twisting and turning. Being in close proximity to him was no good for her.  
" What you doing for Christmas?" He asked her.  
" I'm working in the morning. Then I'm heading to the City for dinner and hopefully back to my Dads later on. You?"  
" Parents."  
" How are your Mom and Dad? All ok I hope"  
" Yeah all good. I told you Denny's got two kids now right? " he was referring to his elder brother.  
" No! That's nice"  
They lapsed into silence as she noticed the way he was looking at her. The intense darkness of his eyes turned her to jelly and she didn't want to feel like this. Pitching her finished cigarette she turned and rose to leave. He stood at the same time. Without thinking he pulled her back towards him and as she looked up he took the opportunity to kiss her. She didn't pull away or struggle to break his grip on her and they kissed deeply, sensually, tongues meeting briefly and exploring each other's mouths just like they had years before. After a few moments she did pull back and breathing deeply she shook her head.  
" I can't do this Bri, I just can't."  
" You want to. I know you do. Jesus! Didn't you feel that just then." He was talking about the pure unadulterated lust coursing through his body at this moment.  
" Maybe I did feel it, but I can't. This isn't right." She turned and again he found himself watching her as she left him standing in the cold.


	10. Christmas

Toni lay in bed looking at the red digits on the clock. Finally giving up on sleep at four thirty she got up quietly so as not to disturb Dane and headed for the bathroom.   
Leaving home at five thirty she started out on the short walk to work. She was wrapped up warmly against the small flakes of snow that were lazily decending and the cold didn't faze her. It was dark and quiet. It took her less than ten minutes to arrive at the Hospital. Looking around she couldn't see any ambulances and nothing jumped out at her as being urgent. Making her way in through reception she greeted the admin staff there with a "Merry Christmas" and they responded in kind. Just as she was about to walk past she looked to her left and saw Quinn sitting there waiting for her. 

Seeing her notice him he rose and made his way over where she was now standing waiting for him. She was shaking her head as if in disbelief.   
" Merry Christmas Ton"   
" What are you doing here Quinn? " she was keeping her voice low not wanting anyone to overhear them as she steered him closer to the doors.   
" You said you were working this morning so I figured I'd catch you here."  
" That's not what I asked. What do you want Quinn?"   
" Honestly Toni? I want you.Ok. There I said it. I want you." He was looking at her directly, square on, clutching his cap in his hands and squeezing it as if to relieve the tension.   
Toni was staring at him as if he had two heads. She couldn't take in what she was hearing. She had been awake all night trying to justify their kiss to herself. It was just a kiss right? No harm done. Nothing was going to come of it. Just a Christmas kiss between two old friends. Now that theory was blown.  
" Quinn, I told you. I can't listen to this. I can't do this now. I have to go to work."   
" You look at me right now and tell me that kiss meant nothing to you and I'll walk away. You won't have to see me again. But if I'm right I think it did mean something. I'm willing to admit it. Can you?"   
Taking his arm she led him outside and away from the staff who were eagerly trying to listen in. She knew they'd all be talking about this in the staff rooms and canteens soon anyway.   
When they were a safe distance she dropped his arm.   
" Yes, alright I'm conflicted. It's been crazy seeing you again, and kissing you was..."   
She paused and looked at him, unable to articulate her feeling properly. " Quinn a part of me will always love you. You were my first love. My first lover. But it's been so long. I'm engaged and he's a great guy. I wont betray him."   
Quinn looked at her and she was welling up. The last thing he had meant to do was make her upset. He realised that she was right. Prehaps this whole thing was just nostalgia after all. He knew what it was like to be the jilted fiancé and didn't wish it on anyone else.   
Sighing he put his cap back on and smiled at her sadly. He could feel some tears of his own threatening. Pushing it down inside he just reached out and stroked her face gently.   
" Take care Dr. Maybe I'll see you around."   
" Bri.. I...."   
" It's ok. Merry Christmas Princess."

Toni got through her shift in a daze. She kept thinking of his words. The way he looked at her. Somehow she made it through and quickly changing she met Jensen outside the Hospital.   
" Merry Christmas darling" he greeted her with a huge smile and open arms. Sinking into them she held him close burying her face into his thick coat.   
" Are you ok baby?"   
" Yeah I'm fine. Merry Christmas" she forced the smile to her face and they made their way to the City and his parents penthouse on the Upper West.   
Dinner was beautiful but for Toni it was a bit of an ordeal. She had only actually met Jensen's Parents twice before. Once when they were introduced at a charity ball and once when Jensen took her home to announce their engagement. She had the distinct feeling his Mother really didn't like her. And his father was totally disinterested. Still she kept her feelings hidden and made it through. Jensen spent most of the day taking calls and answering E-mail so she was left to fend off his Mothers hostility by herself. Between that and her thoughts straying back to Brian she had a splitting headache by the time they left at eight that night. Toni asked Jensen to come to her Fathers with her but he declined gently telling her he had some business to finish up and he couldn't let it go.   
" But it's Christmas Jen, just pop in with me"   
" I really can't Antonia. I'm sorry "   
Toni tried to understand but she was getting frustrated by how little time he seemed to spend with her even when she was right in front of him. Dropping her off he kissed her goodnight and promised he'd see her in a few days time. He was going to bring her present then as it hadn't been delivered on time. Waving him goodbye as he sped off she let herself into the house. It was warm and lively which was the polar opposite of the atmosphere she had been in all day. Seeing her brothers and her friends all there she was enveloped in a group hug and it finally felt like Christmas.   
When the neighbours departed for home and it was just her family left they exchanged gifts and stories. Chanel and Mikey had huge news.They were expecting a baby due in July. Frankie and Jimmy were selling up and moving back home. They had found a new venture in Brooklyn and had big plans. As if that wasn't enough excitement her Dad and Carol announced their engagement. Everyone in her family was happy and Toni was thrilled for them all. Stepping into the kitchen to get the champagne her father had bought to celebrate properly she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around she saw her Dad smiling at her. Pulling her into a hug he asked " What's wrong sweetheart?"'  
" Why would anything be wrong Dad? I'm thrilled with all this. I can't take it all in."   
" I know when my little girl isn't right. "   
Toni told him briefly about her day and he listened without judgement.   
" Brian Quinn eh? Haven't heard that name in a long time."   
" Don't think you'll be hearing it again either."   
" I don't know about that. But listen to me Antonia. Sometimes you have to listen to what your heart says not what your head tells you. Now I like Jensen well enough as you know but sometimes I can't help but think you need a partner not someone who's only around part time."   
Leaving her with that he made his way back into the den and still thinking of his words she followed him to toast the rest of her family's great news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying so far X


	11. New year, new start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni's making big changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note 
> 
> There is a scene of domestic abuse in this chapter so if you think it may upset you please don't read. It's not my intention to upset anyone xx

Between Christmas and New Year Toni made a decision. She loved Jensen but knew in her heart that this wasn't right for her. He had sent her an red Audi for Christmas. Looking at it as it rolled off the delivery trailer on Boxing Day didn't fill her with joy as it should have. She just wished Jensen was there instead of the delivery guy. Her Fathers words at Christmas played in her mind and she knew what she had to do. On her next free day which was the 28th she drove the powerful smooth car across the Verrazano-Narrows bridge into Brooklyn and then on into Manhattan. The journey took awhile but Toni didn't mind. She relished the time to herself and it gave her space to make sure she knew she was making the right choice. Arriving at Jensens apartments she parked the car in the underground garage and taking a deep breath made her way up to the top of the building. 

Jensen was surprised to see her in his doorway. He seemed a little off that she had come here but he opened the door and ushered Toni inside.  
" Jen, we need to talk"  
" That sounds ominous" he was looking at her and assessing her mood.  
" I've been thinking a lot about everything. About us ,and the future."  
" And ?" He gestured to a seat and they sat down.  
" I'm sorry Jen , I just don't think this is right. I can't marry you. I'm so sorry." Toni's nerves were getting the best of her and she looked at the ground to regain her composure and find the courage to do this. She was shocked to hear him start to laugh.  
" Toni, are you fucking kidding me?" She looked at him and he could see she was deadly serious.  
" No way. You're not breaking up with me. I'm the one who leaves you. Do you understand? Don't you know who I am?" His voice was rising with anger more with each word and Toni had never heard him speak or seen him act like this. He grabbed her arms roughly digging his fingers into the flesh under her jumper. Toni was beginning to get scared and pushed him from her breaking his grip.  
" Don't touch me again." Her eyes flashed anger and they were both getting increasingly wound up.  
" You think you can just turn up to my home and dump me like some goddamn LOSER?! You'll be sorry Toni. Very sorry. "  
" I'm just sorry you turned out to be such a complete douchebag" Grabbing her coat she flung the diamond ring and the car keys on a nearby table and turned to leave. Jensen grabbed her again and making her spin her on her heel she saw the hand coming for her face but couldn't move away in time. His fist connected squarely with her cheek and pain exploded making her see stars. Time seemed to slow. She looked at the surprise etched on his face and knew it must mirror her own.  
" Toni, Toni I'm sorry baby, so so sorry." He was crooning at her trying to calm her down.  
Toni raised her hand to feel the side of her face which was throbbing and was thankful that she couldn't feel anything fractured. Shaking with nerves and pain she pulled herself together and straightened up.  
" If I ever see your face again you're the one who'll be sorry Jensen. Am I clear?"  
She heard him start shouting insults again as she opened the door and left but she knew that it was just the empty posturing of a fucking coward and walking out of his life for good she thanked her lucky stars that she saw him as he really was. 

New Year's Eve and Toni was spending it with her loved ones. They had all gathered at Carla's and the drinks were flowing. Luckily Toni's face was fine and the light bruising that had started to develop was easily covered with makeup . Toni hadn't made what had happened public not wanting to have to keep re-living it. She had only told Dane who now wanted to kill Jensen and her Dad who had made it known to Jensen personally that if he ever laid eyes on him again he wouldn't be responsible for what happened. Everyone else was just told that it was all over and that was that. Toni spent the night catching up with Del and they drank and ate too much. As midnight struck and they all sang and kissed and embraced Toni's thoughts turned to the future and she resolutely refused to look back.


	12. A big night out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the dark comes the light :)

Brian was close to his climax and pushing harder and faster chased it urgently. This blonde wasn't particularly demonstrative and as soon as he had started fucking her he realised this was probably a mistake. Just the latest in the long line of mistakes he had been making recently. Since he had last seen Toni which was months ago he had been chasing casual sex. He was attempting to fuck her out of his memory. Sometimes it worked and he did forget for a while but mostly it was encounters like this one. His orgasm arrived but he was underwhelmed and by the look on this girls face so was she. 

Hours later he made his way into the Station house to start his next tour. Checking out the board he noted what he had been assigned and what needed to be done and got to work. As they got everything together he joined his brothers talking about the upcoming FDNY foundation dinner which was happening next week. The house had been allocated tickets and those who weren't on tour that night would attend. Everyone always wanted to attend, especially now in the aftermath of the horrors of September 11. Brian was lucky that he was one of those who could go. It was clear the guys were all taking their wives and girlfriends and he made a note to go through his little black book. Blondie from this morning was out so he'd have to think on it. 

Toni was thrilled to be going with her father to the foundation dinner. Carol who was now his wife, they had married in a small family ceremony in February, couldn't attend as she was working and couldn't get out of it. Toni relished the opportunity to see her Dads brothers from the firehouse as it had been so long since she'd had the time. Helping him brush down his uniform to remove any stray hairs she stood back and admired him. He looked so handsome. Hearing the guys blasting the horn outside urging them to come on he took her arm and they headed out.  
Arriving they were greeted with glasses of bubbly and there were a lot of other fire houses, chiefs , and top brass to mingle with before they made their way to their table. Drink in hand Toni was engaged in conversation with the guys from her fathers house ladder 78/Engine 155. They were a lively , loud bunch of men and Toni, used to their ways ignored the very male, sometimes downright sexist shit they came out with. It wasn't directed at her or meant in a derogatory way it was just the way they were. Being in the company of men all the time it was just how they were used to acting. She was laughing loudly at something decidedly inappropriate they had just said to her when she felt an arm slip around her waist. Startled she moved away and looked at the owner. It was of course Brian Quinn.

He had spotted her father first and approaching Frank Santiago Sr. they shook hands and small talked. Frank had mentioned that Antonia was joining him this evening and watched the reaction on Brian's face carefully. Pleased with what he had noted he pointed him in the right direction to the rest of his team and Brian hadn't hesitated to approach her. Totally forgetting about his date for the night he took in the scarlet dress she wore and the way it hugged her body in all the right places. Slipping his arm around her quickly he waited to see how she would respond. 

Toni was glad to see him. He looked incredibly sexy in his full dress uniform and Toni had to look away to calm her senses. Since their last talk at Christmas a lot of things had changed in her life but she still occasionally wondered how he was doing and hoped he was happy. Stupidly she hadn't even considered the fact that he might be here tonight. Ignoring the other guys cat calling she pulled him in to her for a quick hug.  
" You look good" he murmured into her ear and pressed against him she could feel the heat from his body radiate against her. " As do you" she replied moving back to give herself some space she smiled at him as the other fighters started ribbing him for working at a different house. There was always competitions between the houses and he gave as good as he got. Hearing the call to usher everyone into their seats she saw her dad approach to escort her to dinner.  
" Wait for me here after its all done." He looked at her. It wasn't a question it was a definite command. Nodding her head in agreement he left them to join his brothers entering the main room. Toni and all the guys from Ladder 78 followed shortly after. During the meal and the speeches after Quinn kept looking over at the table where she sat. She was enjoying the night. She looked radiant. Her glass was never empty and he noted with some envy as the other fighters offered her bites off their plates as they all had different dishes to sample. She looked at home with the men and he knew it was because she had grown up surrounded by the service. His date on the other hand was picking at her nails and seemed totally disinterested. He knew he had to shake her off and quickly. Gesturing to Jackson, who's date hadn't shown they made their way to the restrooms. Brian explained the situation and Jackson agreed to try and flirt and distract the girl Brian had brought. She wasn't exactly slacking in the looks department and he was more than happy to oblige. Heading to the bar they got some more drinks and back at the table they set the plan into motion. It didn't take long for Jackson to charm Jenny leaving Quinn free to meet Toni. She didn't even notice him leave without her as the speeches ended and the applause rang out. Heading back out to the reception room he spotted Toni with her father. They were talking to the Fire Commissioner and Brian hung around until the conversation wound up. 

Looking around Toni spotted him and telling her father she'd make her own way back he smiled at her. " Would this be anything to do with a certain Mr Quinn?"  
" Do you think I should talk to him?" She looked to her father for guidance.  
" I think you should do what you want to baby."  
" Thanks Dad. I'll see you on Sunday."  
" Take care baby see you then" he pulled her into a hug and then joined the rest of his brothers to head off. Seeing she wasnt rejoining them one of the guys called out  
" Hey Toni where yous heading? Ain't you coming back with us?" She lifted her hand to the guys and taking the hint they left in a flurry of whistling and more cat calls.  
Brian walked over and took her hand in his. Noting the lack of engagement ring he raised the hand and looked at her.  
" Long story"  
" I guess we have time now. I want to hear it all Ton."  
Smiling at him she added " Ok. Let's get outta here and I'll tell you all about it."


	13. Getting close

They found themselves back at Brian's place. He was renting a house not far from his Station and after hitting a bar close by for a few more drinks they had hailed a cab. Toni was more than a little drunk and Brian wasn't sure of her address so he took her back home with him.

Over more drinks they had caught up with what had been going on with each other. Eventually with a little coaxing she had spilled out the whole story about Jensen. He could tell she was still a little sad and a lot mad about it but he was proud of her and the way she had dealt with it all. He just hoped that he'd have the opportunity to see the guy personally at some point.  
On the short journey home she had snuggled her face into his chest and dozed gently. He stroked her hair and held her close only just daring to hope that maybe they could talk about starting to see each other regularly again. He didn't think he'd be able to handle it too well if it turned out she didn't want to know. He'd been let down in the past and sometimes he found himself in a pretty dark place. He guessed he'd have to cross that bridge when he came to it.  
Arriving back he gently woke her up and paid the driver. She was woozy but smiled as he took her hand and led her up the porch steps and into the house. It was a pretty typical batchelor pad. Big sofa, minimal decor, games machines and an extensive movie collection given pride of place but it was clean and Brian was glad his mother had called round yesterday. She couldn't help herself and always ended up clearing his stuff away for him.  
He directed her into a seat and she sank down gratefully kicking off her heels and groaning in relief. He chuckled at her facial expression and went to get her a glass of water. By the time he got back she had curled up on his couch and fallen fast asleep. He covered her over with a throw and leaving the glass on the table with some pills for the inevitable headache that she was going to suffer he made his way up to bed. 

Toni woke. It was pitch black and she didn't recognise her surroundings. Sitting up awkwardly she stretched out her muscles. She felt nauseous and looking around her she could make out the coffee table which held a glass of water. Quickly drinking it down she tried to get her bearings. She thought on it and realised she must be in Quinn's house. Her bladder was bursting and she knew she'd have to find the bathroom. Feeling a little better after the drink she rose as quietly as possible. Her eyes were adjusting to the dark and she found her way to the restroom downstairs. Feeling instantly much better she splashed her face with water and checked out her reflection. She assessed herself and shrugged. She'd looked worse. Turning off the light and opening the door she gasped and jumped back in fright as she found Brian standing in the doorway.  
" Jesus Christ! Are you trying to kill me!"  
Brian just laughed and shaking his head he asked " How you feeling drunkard?"  
" Are you serious! You were the one lining up the shots as I recall"  
" Yeah well I just wanted to get you home with me and I guess I succeeded didn't I? "  
"Yeah I guess you did."  
He reached for her and she moved to meet him without hesitation. Their lips met and they kissed slowly, taking time to really savour the feeling. His hand rested on the small of her back and hers wound around his neck and moved up to his head running over the hair there which was freshly buzz cut.  
Suddenly she stopped and pulled away. Thinking she was going to stop this from going any further again he opened his mouth to speak but closed it again when he saw her face. She was looking pretty green and she abrubtly spun around and proceeded to throw up violently in his toilet. Laughing loudly at her predicament he left her to regain her composure and went to get her some fresh towels. The drink had obviously hit her harder than she thought.  
When he returned she was sitting on the floor but had finished puking.  
Handing her the towel she gave him the thumbs up and be left her to freshen up. Emerging ten minutes later she looked a little less green.  
" C'mon you need to sleep it off" he took her hand and led her up the stairs. He handed her one of his T-shirts and left the room while she changed out of her dress and pulled it on. She didn't object as he returned and tucked her up in his bed. She thanked him and promptly fell back asleep. Brian crawled onto the bed next to her but stayed on top of the covers. Watching her sleep soundly next to him he smiled to himself as he realised that they had never actually spent the whole night together . They'd always had to get up and leave each other's homes before. It didn't take long for sleep to claim him too and as he started to drift off he moved into Toni's back and pulling her close they spooned peacefully for the rest of the night.


	14. Finally...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;)

Toni woke to sun streaming in through Brian's gauzy curtains. It was still early as it was quiet outside and she could hear the birds singing their dawn chorus. Not moving so she didn't disturb him she could feel Bri's arm around her waist and his breath tickling the back of her neck. It was warm and cozy and she felt content. There was no sign of a hangover and although she cringed when she remembered throwing up the night before she figured that must have actually done her some good. Being there with him felt right somehow. She wasn't due to work for the next few days so she relaxed. She stayed like that for around half an hour before she felt him stir behind her.  
" Mmmm morning princess " he mumbled kissing her shoulder through his shirt and shifting slightly as he hadn't moved position since they went to bed.  
" Morning" she turned to face him but didn't get too close or risk kissing him knowing her breath must be pretty awful. When he came around a little he moved into kiss her and she pulled back.  
" What? Don't want to kiss me?"  
" Quinn I threw up last night. You don't want to kiss me."  
Grinning he shook his head. " I don't give a fuck... C'mere"  
" No way" she giggled as he tried to reach for her and pin her down. " No way Q"  
" Alright. Go into the bathroom there's a new toothbrush in the cabinet. Go on, hurry up I want my kiss."  
She got up and made her way down the hall to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind her she took her time. First relieving herself then washing her face she opened the cabinet and found the promised toothbrush. She brushed her teeth and finding his comb on the sink she pulled it through her hair. Feeling more human she returned to find him now under the covers. She figured it was too late to be coy now so got back into bed beside him. Not wasting any more time he pulled her to him and they finally kissed deeply.  
"Worth waiting for?" She teased as they came up for air.  
"Absolutley." He answered pulling her in again finding her lush plump lips and prising them apart with his tongue. She opened up willingly and they kissed until breath was short and they had to come up for air.  
She could feel his erection pressing against her and they knew where this was heading. Slipping his T-shirt over her head he took in the glorious sight of her full breasts and taught body. She looked amazing and he couldn't wait to devour her.  
Hurriedly disposing of his boxers he pushed back the bed covers and she lay back waiting for him to take her. Moving his body over hers he buried his face in her neck kissing there and then moving slowly down her body tasting and licking over her skin as she made cute little noises of appreciation. Reaching her panties he pulled them down as she raised her ass to help him and he flung them away. He was between her legs and she was wet and ready for him. He was so hard it was almost painful and he couldn't wait any longer.  
" Toni are you ready for me? "  
She nodded and pulled his head down to meet her kiss.  
"God Yes, Fuck me already"  
Grinning he had to oblige. He reached over and opened the drawer on his bedside table. Quickly rolling on his protection he positioned himself again and raising her hips for a deeper entrance he pushed himself inside her. She groaned her approval and he moved slowly filling her up to the hilt. She was deliciously wet and he loved the feeling around his cock.  
Moving faster in and out of her she rose to meet him and it didn't take long until he felt his climax approach. He wanted to hold out and feel her come first. Pulling out he flipped her over and she moved onto her knees. He re-entered her from behind and kneading her amazing ass with his fingers he heard her gasp. He could feel her pussy contract and hearing her groan and call his name pushed him over the edge to his own orgasm. He dropped his head to her back and kissing her there they both came back down to earth.  
Pulling out he disposed of the condom and padded back to the bed. Drawing her close and kissing her again she nuzzled into him and they stayed arms wrapped around each other as he dropped kisses into her hair for a long time.  
Breaking the silence he said " I want this. Properly. All the time Toni. You and me."  
Smiling she looked up at him. " When did you turn soft?" She joked.  
" I'm serious Ton, let's see where this goes, let's give ourselves a chance here."  
" yeah ok. You're on."  
" Yeah?"  
" Yeah." Pulling her in even closer her wrapped himself around her and they ended up doing very naughty things for the rest of the day.


	15. Baby Shower

The next few days, weeks and months were happy. Although both Brian and Toni had time consuming jobs which left them tired and drained they still made the most of the time they could spend together. At first they were selfish with each other and spent all their free time alone , mostly engaged in sexual activity, but as they both settled into the relationship they began to venture out of their little cozy bubble and spend time with their mutual friends. Toni became something of a regular at Joey's when they met up and did their Tenderloins stuff and they also spent time in Full Cup with Sal. She loved seeing the guys and sometimes she brought Dane along with her too.

Chanel was in her last month of Pregnancy and it was hitting her hard. She was swollen up and getting grumpy.Although Toni told her it was all perfectly natural she could tell her sister in law was fed up. In hopes of cheering her up she volunteered to throw her baby shower. This news had the desired effect and Chanel immediately bombarded her with ideas and themes. Shaking her head as she realised that this had been her motive all along they sat and planned it all out.  
" So Mikey's going to be there too." Chanel was adamant that he attend. She wanted him to acknowledge everyone's gifts for the baby. " Do you want to invite Brian?"  
Toni raised her eyebrows. She didn't really think that it would be Brian's thing but didn't want Chanel to think that he wasn't bothered. " I'll ask him but I'm not sure. He may be in work that day. I'll check though ok."  
Chanel nodded her head and with a sly grin added " I may be planning one of these for you two before long"  
Toni laughed but shook her head " I don't think so Chan"  
" Why not? You'd be a fabulous Mom."  
" You think so?"  
" Yeah. I do. You're one of the best people I've ever met Ton. You're clever and kind. You don't take any shit. You care about everyone. You're a dream mom."  
Toni embraced her friend and dropped a kiss on her cheek. " You're sweet Chan. Thank you" 

The day of the shower arrived and Toni, Mikey and Dane started early. They had hired a function suite and it had to be decorated. They went all out with banners, streamers, and huge helium balloons. The party games were all planned out. They set up the layout for the food and there would be an open bar. They had also sorted out music by the resident DJ. Having put everything together to their incredibly high standards Toni headed home to shower and change. Stopping in her way back to pick up the enormous cake she arrived just before the guests started streaming in. Chanel had invited literally everyone she knew and the place filled up quickly. Everyone was chatting and getting involved with the various activities. Toni had spoken to Quinn the night before and he was working but hoped he might be able to duck out for an hour to call in.  
The shower was a huge success. Chanel had gifts enough for three babies and everyone had a great time. Chanel stood up and started to give a speech. Everyone was focused on her, including Toni so she didn't know that Brian had just arrived.  
" Everyone" she hit her fork against her crystal glass , which held her soda, so the sound rang out making everyone turn and listen. " Thank you so much for coming today to celebrate the imminent arrival of the newest member of the Santiago family."  
There was a cheer at that and she waited for it to disperse before she continued.  
" I wish I could take credit for all the amazing things you have been subject to this afternoon but that goes to my dear sister Toni."  
Toni blew her a kiss.  
" We were discussing motherhood the other day, and I'll say the same thing to her now, Toni, hurry up and get knocked up so we can do this thing together!!"  
Everyone laughed at Chanels comment including Toni but standing at the back of the hall Brian didn't see the funny side. He waited for Mikey to also say his thank yous and when the guests started to leave he made his way over to where Toni was helping clear up plates and glasses and chatting with the waiting staff.  
" What was that all about?"  
Toni looked around and found Quinn with a sour look on his face.  
" What?" Toni was genuinely unsure what the matter was.  
" Chanel's little speech there." He dropped his voice as he noticed the staff looking over. " Are you two making plans on if we have kids or not?"  
She looked at him to see if he was serious. It looked as though he was and she sighed as she knew what was coming now. They hadn't had any cross words since they had started being together properly again but it looked like that was turning now.  
" NO. Are you fucking serious? we were talking the other day and she mentioned she thought I'd be a good mother. That's it. I haven't stopped taking my pill. I'm not trying to get pregnant. I'm still in residency and have another year and a half to go. Is that good enough for you Quinn?" Toni was getting wound up now and pushed past him to go into the kitchens to drop off the plates in her hands. The very fact that he had thought she was trying to trap him into parenthood made her blood boil. She took a moment to get herself under control and then went back into the main room.  
Brian was nowhere to be seen and approaching her arm in arm with Mikey , Chanel said "Now where did he go?"


	16. Mistakes of the ex

Brian knew from her expression that Toni was telling the truth and that she was also seriously angry right now.He remembered what their rows used to be like and recognised the face. When she left the room he had taken the opportunity and headed straight back to the station. On the short drive back he mentally kicked his own ass for being so stupid. He didn't know what he had been thinking. Since Marie had screwed him over he was just too wary for his own good. He found it hard to trust and even though things were good, hell no, great, with Toni there was still a part of him that was twisted up and damaged. He hoped that given time it could be straightened out and put back whole. Arriving back he didn't have any more time to dwell on it. As he entered the house the alarms started ringing their earsplitting chime and he had to jump into action. 

Toni helped Chanel and Mikey load up the car. Dane was nowhere to be seen having met someone interesting at the shower. They had sloped off together for a drink.  
" Sure you don't want us to come back with you sis? "   
" No, get your wife home! She needs to rest.I'll see you at Dads on Sunday right?"   
" Yeah so long as she's still being stubborn and holding my baby in there."   
" Hey I can hear you ya know" Chanel called from the passenger seat.   
Toni waved them off and made her way to her own car. Starting the engine she pulled off. She had the next two days to herself and had been planning to spend her time with Bri who was also on rest from tomorrow. She now had no intention of going there and she made her way to Carla's talking to herself the whole way about what a dickhead her boyfriend was. 

Carla opened the door and Toni's godsons pushed their way through their Mothers legs and rushed for her. Scooping them up she planted kisses on them until they squirmed away.   
" How did the shower go? " Carla asked as she ushered Toni inside.   
" It was great. Chanel enjoyed so that's the main thing."   
" Sorry I couldn't make it. Jays in Chicago on business and I didn't have any one to look after the boys."   
" No worries. I did say you could bring them."   
" Honestly Ton, they would have wrecked the place."   
Judging by the noise Toni could hear coming from upstairs she guessed that was pretty accurate. Carla made them both coffee and they sat at the kitchen island to chat.   
" How's things with Mr Q ?"   
" Don't even go there Car, I'm not in the best frame of mind on that subject at the moment."   
" Oooo I was wondering when it would kick off. " looking at her friends face Carla softened her words " I mean you two were like cat and dog sometimes"   
Toni sighed knowing she was right. " But we're supposed to be adults now. This isn't high school anymore Carla. I thought I'd outgrown the way he used to wind me up but I guess I was wrong."   
" So what happened?"   
Toni filled her in and Carla listened.  
" Sounds like he's scared to me."   
" Scared of what? I haven't done anything to scare him."   
" You haven't but what if someone else has? Do you know anything about the time between then and now?"   
Toni thought on it for a moment. " No not really. We haven't discussed it. I know he had girlfriends obviously but he hasn't gone into any detail."   
" Maybe some gentle snooping is in order? Christ for all you know he could have kids somewhere waiting to show up!" Carla was joking but it made Toni think. They had been back together for three months and he really hadn't said anything about the prior years they were apart. It didn't really worry Toni and she knew he wouldn't drop anything like that on her but what if Carla was right and there was a reason he had reacted that way to Chanels joke . Toni stayed another hour to play with the boys. She loved to spend time with them but she also loved to be able to hand them back over to their mom when she was totally run out. They were boisterous and never seemed to tire. Kissing them all goodbye Toni finally headed home. 

Shutting the front door behind her she made her way into the kitchen to get a drink. Heading into the den she noted the trail of clothing leading to Danes room and sighed. He'd pulled. Picking them up and placing them on the back of the couch she made a decision. She really couldn't handle sitting here all night hearing the noises coming from his room. Quickly deciding what to do she freshened up and changed outfit. She then headed out down to Full Cup to see Sal. 

Entering the bar it was fairly early so it was quiet. It would pick up around ten and then the place would be heaving but for now there was plenty of space. Toni waved at Sal as she came in and he had her favourite tipple ready by the time she sat down at his end of the bar. Thanking him she took a long drink and he raised an eyebrow when he noted it was already half gone when she set the glass back down. Waving away her cash he asked  
" What's going on with you Ton?"   
" Quinn."   
" Ahhh. Ok" that was all Sal needed to hear. He started making her another.   
A few drinks in and she told him what had gone down. For his part Sal listened and then told her about Marie. He also told her about another girl from Brian's past who had faked a pregnancy scare. It hadn't gone on long before the truth came out but for a few weeks Brian was preparing to become a father. He didn't feel that he was betraying Bri because it was all common knowledge in the group. In fact he was surprised Toni didn't already know the stories. The guys regularly made something of a joke about it not to be cruel but because it was what guys do to each other. Bri took it all in his stride for the most part and they knew when to stop.   
Now that Toni knew the background she partially understood his attitude. Carla was right. He had a bad experience and it had made him wary. Even so it still wasn't anything to do with her or them as a couple and she felt that he was being unfair to her. She stayed at the bar with Sal for a few hours swapping stories and even ended up helping out collecting glasses when it started to get busy. She left at midnight and hoped Dane and his new love interest would be gone or at least worn out.   
She turned over what Sal had told her and decided that she needed to talk to Brian about it. They needed to clear the air and get on with their relationship. They didn't need the past clouding their future. With that sorted in her own mind she picked up the pace and headed home.


	17. Dirty Dancing

Toni was up early the next morning. Dane was heading out for a run having just seen his guest leave. Toni didn't comment just said hi and bye. Winking at her Dane left her with the radio turned up loud as she set about cleaning the kitchen. 

Leaving the apartment Dane bumped into Quinn who was just arriving. Dane held the door for him and they exchanged greetings.   
" How is she this morning?"   
Dane looked him up and down and shrugged his shoulders. "She's just fine. As she always is Brian.it takes a lot more than a sulky boyfriend to bring my Toni down" and with that he set off on his run not allowing Quinn the chance to respond. Brian was by now used to Danes sass and ignored the comment. Heading up to the apartment he knocked on the door but hearing the loud Bruce Sprungsteen tune playing he knew she wouldn't hear it anyway. He tried the handle and it opened so he stepped inside. Poking his head around the kitchen door he was met with the sight of his incredibly sexy girlfriend swaying to the music and singing along with wild abandon. Grinning to himself he just stood leaning against the door frame and waited for her to notice him.   
When she finally did see him she didn't stop. Smiling at him Toni carried right on going. Approaching him she pulled him in to join her and they danced closely in the small kitchen. When the track finished he pulled her in for a deep kiss.   
" You're so goddamn sexy Ton."  
" Shut up!" She laughed looking at her self . She had her hair up in a messy bun and was still wearing her pjs. Lifting her up so her legs wrapped around his waist he carried her back to her bedroom. Dropping her gently down on the bed he quickly shed his t-shirt and started unbuckling his belt. Toni pulled her cami up over her head and wriggled out of her shorts. He advanced across the bed to her and moved across her body. Kissing her urgently he couldn't wait to be inside her. Usually he would ensure she was ready but right now he didn't have the patience. He wanted her right now and by the look on her face as she bit her lower lip she felt the same way. He found where he needed to be and pushed into her. Groaning at the sudden force Toni gripped the back of his neck hard. It took a second to adjust but then her body accommodated his large member. He moved with urgency and it didn't take long before he felt the first stirrings of his orgasm. Moving so he had room he used his free hand to find her clit and rub it gently in time with his motions. This drove Toni over the edge and he felt her muscles contract hard as she came. Pushing on for his own climax he fell over the edge of bliss a few seconds later. 

Kissing her again he flopped down on the sheets next to her. He was glad to note they hadn't continued the argument from yesterday as he had been expecting. He hated to think of her being upset with him. Toni ran her hands over his chest as she snuggled into him and he played with her hair.   
" I take it I'm forgiven then?"   
Toni moved her head to look at him. " I love you Bri."   
They hadn't said the words yet this time round but hearing them fall from her lips now he knew he felt the same way still he couldn't resist " I know" he replied.   
Gently slapping his abs she laughed , instantly getting the Star Wars reference. They had rewatched the trilogy just a few weeks ago.   
" I love you Antonia. You know that right?"   
" Of course. How could you not." She teased.   
" I'm sorry I got wound up over nothing yesterday. It's just..." He didn't really know where to start.   
" It's ok Bri. Just forget it. I understand that you've got some baggage. So have I."   
Brian looked at her. " What do you mean baggage?"   
Toni shrugged not picking up on the tone creeping into his voice. " Sal told me about the exes and I just want you to know that it doesn't matter to me."   
"What did he tell you?"   
Toni was alert now. She could tell that Brian wasn't happy about this and when he got out of bed and started pulling on his jeans she knew that it was about to start kicking off again.   
" I don't know not much. Just you were engaged and it didn't work out and some other girl said she was pregnant."  
" JESUS! What the fuck! He had no right saying anything. I would tell you if I wanted to."   
" Oh so now I'm not important enough to be told about this stuff!"  
" It's my stuff Toni. MY LIFE! not anyone else's. I would have told you when I was ready. Not now. We're just getting started and then this is all dragged up again."   
There wasn't much she could say to that. It was true. This was his stuff to deal with. She reached for him but he pulled away. He grabbed his t-shirt and left. Hearing her front door slam she sat on the bed trying to take in the fact that within the space of a few minutes they had said they loved each other and then started another row. Holding back the tears that were trying to escape she rang Sal to warn him of a potential visit. 

Hanging up the phone on Toni having reassured her it wasn't her fault Sal sighed. He hated hearing her upset and knew he should have kept his mouth shut. Still it was too late now and if on cue he heared the banging on his front door and went to face the music with Quinn.   
Opening his door he found his best friend there as expected with a face like thunder.   
" WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING TONI?" Quinn pushed past Sal and entered his house turning into the living room.   
Sal shut the door and followed him in. " Nothing that she wouldn't hear anyway from one of us eventually"   
" Don't you think that it wasn't your fucking place to drop all this info on her?"   
" Look Q I'm sorry ok. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. You know that she'd hear us taking the mick outta you about it soon enough man. Joey must raise that shit at least once a week."   
Quinn shook his head and sank down on Sal's chair. " Yeah ok you're right."   
Sensing he was calming down Sal risked sitting next to him. " I am sorry man. But look she didn't freak out or anything. She's been engaged herself. She can't really say anything."   
" I just don't want her to think I'm a fucking loser Sal. The fucking cuckolded fiancé who could keep his girl happy."'  
" Toni wouldn't think like that. I'm pretty sure she's fucking crazy about you."   
Quinn looked at his friend and shook his head. " I keep blowing it."   
" Then fix it again you asshole."


	18. A new arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy :)

Quinn found himself at her front door for the second time that day. He stood for a moment and took time to think about things. He loved her. He wanted this to work out. He was also holding part of himself back from her and despite what she might need from him he may never be able to give it all to her. Shaking off his thoughts he raised his hand.   
He didn't get chance to knock. Toni noticed his car outside and had come out to meet him.   
" Are you ok?" She queried looking at him carefully.   
" Yeah. I'm fine. Look Toni I'm sor.."  
" Don't. You don't have to apologise to me or anyone else. You're right. Whatever's gone on before has nothing to do with now. Let's just move on."   
Taking her in his arms he dropped a kiss on her mouth.  
" Now where were we?"   
Giggling Toni led him back inside to continue where they had left off that morning. 

 

The next day was busy. Trying to fit everything in to the very limited free time they had was overwhelming sometimes but they tried their best. After a steamy shower during which they both practised their oral skills, they had lunch with Frank and Carol. Chanel and Mikey, Frankie and Jimmy were all in attendance too. Chanel was having little twinges but nothing seemed to be happening any time soon. After helping clear up they then made the short journey to see Brian's parents who also insisted on feeding them. A couple of hours later they headed to the cinema to meet up with James and his latest girlfriend Tasha. They watched Austin Powers and made out like teenagers in the back row even though Murr was throwing popcorn at them in an attempt to get them to stop it. Heading home they were both tired out and Toni was due on shift at six. Brian had some more time not needing to head in until ten. He dropped her off and Toni waved him goodbye. They had made plans for Thursday which would be their next rest day. 

Toni was halfway into her shift when her pager started vibrating in her pocket. Checking it quickly she picked up the nearest phone and dialled.   
" We have a patient in advanced labour down here and she's screaming for you Dr S. Can you come over? "   
" I'm on my way." Toni put the phone down and calling out to her fellow residents she told them where she was headed and then she started running.   
Heading out of the main building she headed straight for the maternity unit. Acknowledging greetings as she passed she didn't slow and made it to the main reception there in a few minutes.   
" Chanel Santiago? " she enquired and the receptionist smiled ruefully at her.   
" Thank god. Prehaps she'll stop squalling now. She's in the Eden Suite on five. "   
Laughing Toni hit the button and jumped in the elevator straight up to where Chanel was making such a huge impact. Exiting she followed the noise straight to its location.Knocking loudly and opening the door she was met with Mikey looking panicked and Chanel screaming and swearing loudly at the poor midwife who looked frankly pretty scared.   
Stepping over to Chanel she gripped her sister and looked her straight in the eyes.   
" Chan, I know it's scary and painful but we're trying to help here so shut the fuck up and let this lady do her job. Let's meet this baby at last ok?"   
Chanel immediately calmed down. Toni knew from past experience that the only way to deal with Chanel was to be direct. No bullshit. Tell it like it is.   
The midwife took her cue and started to get Chanel repositioned into a more comfy pose and with help from Toni and Mike they calmed her down enough to get her examined. Explaining that she was fully dilated and should start pushing Chanel turned to Toni and looked at her fearfully.   
" Come on Chan, you can do it. Just hold our hands and push down with all your might ok?"   
Chanel nodded and did just that. It took a good half hour more of pushing and Toni looked to the midwife who shot her a reassuring smile.   
" Doing good Chanel. Keep going"   
Finally at 14.10 exactly Chanel gave birth to a bouncing baby girl. She weighed 7lb 10ozs and was a chubby little beauty. Toni and Mikey both looked on in awe as mother and baby bonded. Wiping away tears Toni embraced her brother and they finally got to hold the newest member of the family.   
Toni waited til mother and baby both had the all clear to move to a ward for a doctor to check them over but Toni had been making her own obs and she knew that they were both just fine.   
Kissing Chanel she excused herself and made her way back to her own duties. She would call back in when she got off work. 

When she finally got to get back it was gone ten in the evening. Chanel wasn't asleep though just watching her daughter peacefully dozing in her bedside crib.   
" Hey" she whispered as she made her way into the room.   
" Hey girl. Come sit down here and tell me is she not the most beautiful child you have ever seen?"   
" she's gorgeous Chanel."   
They sat and watched her together for a while. Chanel turned to Toni and apologised for her behaviour.   
" Are you kidding? If I was in that position I'd be ten times worse. Believe me."   
Chanel laughed because she knew it was true. Toni had one hell of a mouth on her when the mood was right. She had witnessed it before.   
" We know her name."   
" And?"   
" Katherine Antonia Santiago"   
Toni welled up at the sound of her late mothers name combined with her own and given to the next generation.   
" That's beautiful Chan. Thank you. I'm gonna let you get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow ok."   
" Goodnight Auntie."   
" Goodnight Mommy." Smiling she slipped from the room and headed home to tell Dane about the new arrival.


	19. Beer and Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad times folks :(

Toni loved being an auntie and spent as much time with Chanel and baby Kat as she could. Chanel was glad to have her there as Mikey couldn't stay away from the garage for long and headed back to work after a couple of days. Toni looked after them both with love and care and they thrived together. Unfortunately that meant that other things were pushed down the priority list and Toni didn't see Brian for over a week. He had visited with a present for the baby when she first arrived home and seeing Toni with her had given him a jolt. She was totally into it. She was a natural. Despite her protestations from a few weeks ago he could see she did want to be a mom. He hadn't stayed long making an excuse about work but in all honesty Toni didn't really notice, being too busy helping out Chanel. 

Once things had settled and Toni knew Chanel, Mikey and Kat were in a routine she stepped back to allow them time as a family. She was glad she had been able to take some time out of work to stick around for a few days but she knew they needed to get on with it themselves now. She still had another few days of leave and she attempted to get hold of her boyfriend to make plans with him. Unable to get him on the phone she checked her diary and found she was right he was due time off today, tomorrow and Friday. Throwing the diary back in her bag she started up her car and headed for Quinn's house. When she arrived there it was dark and his car was missing. Unsure where he would be and not wanting to drive around looking for him at his friends houses she gave up and headed home. 

Calling out her greetings she found Dane sitting quietly on the couch flipping through Vogue when she got home.   
" Hey! Are you ok? Little quiet isn't it?"   
" Toni! I'm so glad you're home. It's been awful without you"   
Dane was prone to drama but Toni was glad she'd been missed. " Well I'm back now. What's news?"   
" Well... Kris and I are official. He introduced me to his friends as his boyfriend."   
" Oooh! Nice."   
" I know I'm sooo happy Ton. I think he's the best one so far."'  
Toni indulged him. She had heard this line before but she was glad he was so obviously happy she didn't want to spoil it.  
" Brian called by earlier. Didn't stay long but said he was going to be out with the boys tonight and he'd try and catch you tomorrow."  
" Oh ok." Toni tried to hide her disappointment but Dane knew her too well.   
" Anything the matter?"  
" Nah not really. Just haven't seen much of him the last week or so. Been up to my eyes cooking and cleaning and taking in everything about that adorable baby girl"   
" She is a sweetie. I've ordered the most amazing Dior booties."   
Toni laughed. She knew he'd be just as bad as her. This was going to be one spoilt little girl.   
" I'm heading for a bath then I'm gonna crash."  
" Ok then. G'night sweetie."   
" Goodnight D. " she dropped a kiss on his cheek and went ahead with her plan. 

Brian was drunk.He had hoped that he would have been able to see his girlfriend tonight but he had been pushed aside, at least in his own mind, so he had rounded up his friends and they hit the town. Hard. If she didn't have time for him he'd spend it with his boys and see how she liked it. Knowing deep down that his reasoning wasn't all that sound especially after ten beers and a good few shots of whiskey he ignored his own sense and they went on to a club called The Lounge. It was a typical club in the fact it was loud and heaving with sweaty near naked bodies. A few more drinks in and when a hot blonde perched herself on Quinn's knee he didn't make any moves to dislodge her. Sal and Murr shot each other looks but didn't say anything. A few more drinks and looking around Sal noted that Bri and the blonde chick had disappeared. Tapping Murr on the shoulder he leaned in close and over the music he shouted " Quinn's gone."'  
Murr looked around and nodded. Standing they both went to track down their friend. They knew he was out of it and liable to cause damage. The other guys they were with Bryan, Kevin and Walt didn't notice anything amiss.  
They found him outside. The blonde was gone but his expression told them everything they needed to know. He had fucked up. He seemed intent on tormenting himself somehow. Whenever he found a sliver of contentment he always went out of his way to test it. Sal sighed at his friend and the three of them bundled into a cab and headed home.   
On the way Bri passed out and Sal and Murr whispered over his sleeping form.   
" Do we say anything about this?"   
" What? What can we say? other than Quinn you're a fucking dipshit"  
" I feel bad man. Toni's a doll. She doesn't deserve this."   
" It's not our thing to worry about Sal. It's up to him if he says anything to her or not."   
" I hope he wakes up feeling like shit. "   
" Yeah me too."   
Brian who was just about coherent by now stayed silent and kept his eyes closed for the rest of the journey.


	20. Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :( will he confess?

Brian felt like shit. It wasn't just his churning stomach or the sick taste in his mouth it was another deeper feeling of guilt that was making him uneasy in himself. He had woken in the early hours and found himself on his living room floor. The guys had dumped him on the sofa and he had fallen off at some point. Stumbling to the bathroom he had stood under the hot pounding shower for a half hour before he had started to feel at least partially human again. Stepping out and wiping the condensation from the mirror above the sink he inspected himself. His eyes were dark and looking a little bloodshot from lack of quality sleep. He brushed his teeth and just as he turned to leave he spotted it. A small but noticeable hickey on the side of his neck. Turning and twisting to get a better look at it he also noted the small scratch marks on the top of his back.  
" What the fuck..." He muttered to himself and then it all came rushing back. The Blonde. What was her name? Tiffany? Yes that sounded right.  
" OH HOLY SHIT!" He had been absolutely slaughtered last night but he clearly remembered the girl. She had given him the attention he felt he had been lacking from Toni recently and after a make out session he had taken her into the restrooms at the club. Had he fucked her? He strained to try and think but the memory was just out of reach. He had definitely swapped spit with the girl but what else? He rushed to his bedroom and started frantically looking through his pockets. Finding his wallet he pulled it open and looked for the condoms he always kept there. Yep, one missing. Sinking onto his bed he tried to remember. 

Toni had woken early and joined Dane on his usual run. They ran to the local park and then all around it before strolling back at a more sedate pace so they could chat. Dane was about to star in a new play opening up shortly and was excited. He wasn't the lead but did have dialogue and some singing parts too. He asked Toni to help him rehearse and she readily agreed to go through it with him whenever she could. Arriving home they played rock , paper, scissors and losing to Dane she let him shower first.  
She made herself a coffee and settled down to read the paper knowing he would take an absolute age in the bathroom. She almost choked on a mouthful of her drink when she spotted it on one of the middle pages. Quinn was in the paper! He was being presented with a plaque for bravery along with a few others on his tour. Toni quickly skimmed the article that went with the photo. He had been involved with a dramatic rescue and they were being commended for it by the Mayor. She couldn't believe he hadn't told her about this! She thought on it and realised that with everything that had been happening recently that he may well have said something but she had missed it. Feeling bad as she knew that she hadn't spent much time with him for the last few weeks she vowed that would change today. Dropping the paper she went to bang on the bathroom door and interrupting Danes rendition of 'Don't rain on my parade' she told him to hurry up. She needed to get ready. 

Freshly showered and with her hair and makeup done Toni had pulled on a short little sundress and now dropped Dane off at Kris's place which wasn't far from them. She then headed to the local market. As she shopped for some beer for Bri and some ingredients to make him dinner that night she spotted Murr in the aisle and snuck up behind him laughing out loud when he jumped at her voice in his ear.  
" JESUS! Toni you scared the shit outta me! " but he was laughing to and she knew he was ok.  
" Hey James how are you?"  
" My heads pounding a little thanks to last night but otherwise ok."  
" Where did you go? Anywhere exciting?"  
" Started off in the Full Cup as usual then ended up in The Lounge."  
" Is Bri going to be feeling as delicate as you?"  
Murr suddenly had a funny look cross his face and Toni noticed it even though it was only there for a split second.  
" What ? What am I missing? Was he hammered? " Toni was joking but Murr had lost his smile.  
" Nothing! Nothing honestly, just feeling queasy Ton. Anyway better head off. I'll see you soon sweetie." Leaving her with a quick kiss on the cheek he made a dash for the cashier.  
Toni finished her shop and headed to get some steak from the butchers and then for Brian's. 

After a frantic call to Sal in which he didn't learn much else Brian was now sitting in his living room still trying to make the pieces fit together in his mind. He remembered her sitting in his lap and whispering in his ear. He remembered kissing her. He remembered her leading him into the ladies restroom and going into a cubicle with her as the other women all called out cheers around them. Sal had told him they had come to find him but didn't know how long he'd been gone. Best estimate about an hour. Perhaps a little less. He could tell Sal had been pissed off with him and he knew he deserved it. Hanging up on him Sal had told him to come clean to Toni. Brian didn't know what to do. Hearing the doorbell chime he froze. His curtains were still drawn in the front room. He didn't want to let the sunshine in. Peeking out from around them now his fear was confirmed. His girlfriend was standing on his doorstep holding a bag and a six pack. Quickly throwing on a high necked jumper as she knocked again he made his way to the door and opened it just a small crack.  
" Hi Bri. Are you gonna let me in or what? "  
" Ton, I'm not feeling great. Sorry prehaps you'd better leave it for today. I don't want you to catch anything."  
Laughing Toni stepped forward and pushed past him into the hallway. " I'm a doctor you doofus. Let me see you."  
Sighing he shut the door behind him and walked back into the den.  
Toni dropped the bags off in the kitchen and then followed him in. He was sitting on the easy chair but looking at the floor.His hands rubbed his head. Fearing more than a hangover Toni stepped over and felt his forehead. His temperature seemed ok but she didn't understand the need for a jumper in early August. It was lovely outside. " Are you cold?"  
He didn't answer her just shook his head.  
" Have you been sick? Have you got a headache? Have you drunk enough water?"  
" Toni I'm fine. Just leave me be ok?"  
Toni didn't know what his problem was but now she was determined to find out.  
" Hey! Just because you've got a hangover don't be funny with me Q"  
"I'm not ,ok. Just leave it."  
" Do you want me to get you something? I've brought food. Thought I'd make us some steak with fries and some salad. I've brought hair of the dog too." Toni now sank to her knees in front of him and used her hand to raise his head softly by the chin. As his eyes met hers she knew. She just knew. It was all over his face. He couldn't hide it. He looked like he was about to break.  
" What happened Q? " she didn't know if she actually wanted to know but some part of her had to keep on.  
" I'm so sorry Ton. I want you to know that. Im sorry. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing."  
" Which was?"  
" I fucked up. Badly. I think I slept with some girl last night."  
Toni felt as if all the oxygen in the room was suddenly gone. She heard him speak but it didn't make sense. It was if English wasn't her first language anymore and the words were jumbled up. Getting quickly to her feet she stood. She couldn't remember how to move. He was still speaking but it was as if the words were underwater. Her eyes were streaming but she didn't notice.  
" Toni please listen to me. It didn't mean anything. I love you. Please baby. I fucked up. I know.... "  
The world rushed back as she finally took it in. Looking at him she took in the heartbroken expression on his face. The fact he was crying too. He took a step toward her but she raised her hand to stop him.  
Her voice was low and even. " You're a complete prick."  
" I know I am. "  
" you're a fucking dog Quinn. No that's an insult to dogs. You're low. You're so low that a dog wouldn't lick you. How could you do this to me? to us?"  
Quinn didn't know how to respond. He didn't know why he had done this to her. He could blame the drink but he knew it wasn't just that. It was something inside him that wouldn't allow him to be happy. He just didn't mean to rub any of it off onto her.  
" I'm sorry Toni. Truly. "  
" Yeah you really are. You're incredibly sorry. You're the sorriest asshole I've ever met."  
She went to retrieve her bag from the kitchen and made her way to the front door.  
He reached for her but she shook him off.  
" Toni please let's talk."  
Wiping her eyes she looked at him. "I never want to talk to you again Quinn. Lose my number. I hope she was worth it." She opened the door and he quickly stepped in and shut it again.  
" Let me explain.Toni please. I can't lose you again."  
" You already have Quinn. You lost me when you did what you did last night. And to think I came here to tell you how proud of you I am. I was. Now get out of my way. "  
He moved back and she re-opened the door. Leaving him again she slammed the door behind her and he sank to the floor. He stayed like that for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far. Don't know wether to leave it here or not. Half and half if I should now extend the story and bring it into present time. Let me know what you think would love to hear your thoughts on it xxxx


	21. Moving on

Princess, 

I hope you read this. I hope you read it and know how much you really do mean to me.   
I totally screwed up. There won't ever be a day in my future that I won't regret that. I could tell you it was the drink , that I didn't know what I was doing, but I know it's not true. I won't lie to you or myself. I haven't felt right for a while. Even before we reconnected I was changed. I'm not the Brian Quinn you fell in love with a long time ago.   
I would like to tell you all this in person but so far you've successfully avoided me. I won't call anymore. This letter is just so I finally get the chance to say what I needed to tell you.   
I love you Toni. I truly do. I love you enough to know that I have to let you go so you can find the one who deserves you. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve the very best. I hope you find it.   
Brian x 

Toni had read the letter at least a hundred times and stared for hours at the photograph he had enclosed with it. It was one of them kissing, lost in the moment and in each other. A moment of happiness captured for eternity back when they were first together. She couldn't remember ever having seen it before. Looking at it took her back to a different time when things were new and exciting and they felt like their love was unbreakable. It made her unbearably sad. Still she kept looking at it and reading his words. It was a kind of self torture. She knew she should just throw it away and be done, she had even tried a few times, but somehow she just couldn't. She kept it tucked in her memory box along with the necklace he had given her that one Christmas. True to his words he had now stopped knocking on her door and stopped ringing her. She didn't know how to feel about it. 

They got through the next months with determination. Throwing themselves into work, spending time with family, and hitting the town with friends. She had a few dates, but she didn't feel a spark. He had gone back to the usual pattern of unsuitable one night stands. Each unaware of how the other was coping but as time went on , thinking on it a little less and less , until they reached a place where they could start to move forward with their lives. 

The next time they saw each other it had been six months since they split. It was February 2004 and it was in a club in Brooklyn. 

Toni was out for the night with Frankie, Jimmy, Dane and Kris. They had started early in Frankie and Jimmys own place, All Bar One, and when they clocked off they hit the other bars around the area. She was having fun and it showed. Her face was lit up and she danced all night. Surrounded by her loved ones Toni was starting to enjoy herself again and her nearest and dearest were glad that she was starting to heal. It had been a rough ride for her in the last few months but they were proud of her. She had dusted herself down and was due to finish her residency a little earlier than expected. Her logged hours and wealth of experience meant that she could sit her final exams and gain her full medical licence. She was due to sit these in April. For now though she could let her hair down and enjoy some fun times. 

Brian was out with his latest girl, a cute redhead by the name of Chelsea. They had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks and it was early days but going ok. He liked her well enough and she was into him maybe it would last longer than the usual couple of dates he was used to now . He was standing by the bar waiting to get served among the people three deep all around it when he saw Dane at the other side of him. Just as Brian made to move away Dane saw him too.   
" Brian"   
" Dane"   
They assessed each other. Neither really wanting to get into anything but not wanting to appear rude either.   
" Good night?" Brian ventured.   
" It was"   
Brian just shook his head and taking Chelsea's hand he turned to leave. That's when he bumped into her . Toni had been approaching the bar to help Dane with the drinks when Brian turned a little too quickly and caught her shoulder. He mumbled out an apology before registering who he was talking to. She looked good. Really good. He drank her in with his eyes. A classic short LBD. Her hair was longer and she had put it up for the night. There were small sparkles in it. Her make up was smoky and dramatic and it brought out the rich darkness of her eyes. Toni looked at him and noted the girl holding his hand. She didn't say anything just raised her hand in greeting and then pushed past him to get to Dane. Brian kept on walking.   
" Are you ok?" Dane was assessing her. He knew. He had been there in the first days when she had bawled her heart out. He had helped her get through what to date had been her biggest heartbreak.He had answered the phone and told him repeatedly to fuck off. He had answered the door and done the same to his face. He was glad he had finally stopped. But if had to he would have carried on. His loyalty was to Toni. Not Brian , no matter how much he liked him.   
" Yeah I'm ok." And she was. She watched him leave and took in the quizzical look from the redhead but she really did feel ok. She had cried enough about Brian Quinn and she was done. No more tears left. They collected the drinks and joined the others to continue their night. 

They didn't see each other again for a very long time.


	22. 2004-2010

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A filler chapter about what's been going on in the lives of Toni, Brian and the others in the years since they last saw each other. Then we'll continue with the story :)

Toni sat her final exams in April 2004. She passed with top marks and gained her full medical licence. She continued to work in the ER but moved from Staten Island to Brooklyn when she took up a new post as the head of Trauma at the New York Methodist Hospital. If Staten Island was busy, the ER at her new Hospital was in another league altogether. Toni found she was on her feet for fourteen plus hours every day. The cases never stopped coming. The first year was incredibly tiring but she was determined to get the job done. The ER needed a boost. The staff were tired and under serious pressure. Toni implemented new ideas and was always willing to be on the front line. Her new colleagues took to her quickly and she became part of a new family. As time went on, and she adapted to her environment Toni felt she had always belonged there. Things gradually got easier as she learnt to adapt to her new home and life was good.  
Her love life on the other hand was pretty disastrous. She dated but never very regularly as she just didn't have the time. Her job was so demanding and men outside her profession didn't really understand her time limitations. Men that were in her line of work did understand but we're just generally looking for a quick good time. Their life was always rushed and they wanted their lovers to be the same. Toni found that in her twenties that was OK by her. But hitting thirty in 2006 made her realise that she wanted something real. Something more than a quick fuck in a bunk bed in the hospital. She had done all that and at the time she had bloody well enjoyed it. But it was time to strive for more. She had dated a neurosurgeon and a cardiac specialist. She had dated the head of surgery but they hadn't been right for her. She stopped looking in the hopes that the one would eventually come looking for her.

Turns out Dane was right. Kris was the one. They moved in together when Toni moved out to head for Brooklyn. Other than an occasional argument about Kris' pug Arthur , who Dane disliked as the dog had a habit of peeing in his shoes, they were blissfully happy. They were just waiting for the same sex marriage act to be pushed through so they could make it legal. Finally. 

Chanel and Mikey were in a bit of a rut. They had Kat who was turning seven in July 2010 and they also had a little boy named Paulie who was five. Married life was settled and steady but sometimes Chanel craved excitement. When these urges came over her she would round up her friends, including Toni and Dane and they would hit the town. The nights would always be legendary. They would talk about some of the stuff that went down for years to come , and Chanel would then become content to settle back down for a few months. Mikey was thankfully so laid back he was practically horizontal and more than happy to see his beautiful wife enjoying herself. Besides he had plenty of fun and freedom himself so couldn't say too much. 

Frankie and Jimmy split in 2006. Frankie was a mess for nearly a year. They wound up their joint business and parted ways. He began drinking too much, meeting unsuitable men. The usual cures for a heartache. His family kept a close eye on him and eventually he came through the other side. He decided to head back to San Francisco in 2008 where he had always been happy. He found a fantastic bar and restaurant and bought into it with a friend. He made new friends and found new lovers and generally lived his life to the fullest. He came home now and then and the family had all been to stay with him at one time or another. 

Frank Sr and Carol retired together in early 2010. Toni's dad was now 59 and had been doing mostly admin stuff and training new recruits for the firehouse for the last few years. He was still fit and active but fire is a tricky mistress and he knew he wouldn't be helping the boys if he had to be rescued too whilst in a burning building. They were planning on heading to Florida in the next few years but for now they wanted to enjoy being with their grandchildren whilst they were still young.

 

Brian was still in the fire service. He still loved it. He felt that the fire house was his spiritual home. It was where he felt the most at peace. He loved to lose himself in the work and with his brothers there. Everyday was just a little bit different, enough to keep him excited. He still struggled with the black dog of depression but he managed to hold it at bay most of the time.He worked out his frustrations when he was training. When he wasn't at the firehouse he was spending time with the other Tenderloins.They were moving forward rapidly with their improv stuff. They had been playing live shows for a few years in the local areas but now they were currently filming a show all around NY and it was set to be aired on a station called Trutv some time the following year. Basically it was them, doing what they had always done together, but now it was going to be out there for all to see. James had put a deal together for them through his production company and they were going for it. He was also involved with a podcast with another group of friends he had met through working in his first job with Viewaskew and he did the technical stuff for it with help from his brother Dec. He was slowly beginning to get more involved with the actual banter going on. Between all of this he still managed to go out fairly regularly and get laid , but the real loves in his life at the moment were his cats.They were his companions at home and gave him a focus when he was alone. All in all life was good. Getting better all the time. If he managed to get any sleep that was. 

Sal was really into his solo stand up sessions and he still had the bar.He continued to do shifts there and still enjoyed it. He spent more and more time writing ideas for the show and he loved doing it. He had great ideas for the pranks and punishments. He and Q were close and they still spent a lot of time together.   
Joe was working in sales. He was the top sales rep for a baby supplies department store. He liked his job in as much that he enjoyed meeting new people , he had an easy rapport with everyone he met which meant he did well and it helped that he got good commission. Still he was pinning his hopes on the show doing well so he could quit and concentrate on it full time. He and Murr now shared an apartment in Manhattan.  
James had plenty of experience with producing shows as he had been working in the field more or less since leaving College. He had pitched the idea for the show to the others , which they then fine tuned together, and then presented it to the execs at the TV station. He was the driving force behind it all and without him it probably wouldn't have gotten off the ground. He loved seeing the guys get together and work on the show wether they were filming that day or just in the office clowning around and pretending to write ideas. He had a good feeling about this. He knew deep in his gut that this was their time.They had a few false starts behind them but now here it was. They just had to reach for it and it was theirs for the taking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this has given a bit of background. On with the story .... As always I love to hear what you think xx


	23. Friends reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise meeting in the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in May 2010. 
> 
> Brian is now 34 and Toni will turn 34 in August.   
> They haven't spoken in six years at this point....

Toni was taking her lunch hour out in Prospect Park with her friend the head nurse on her shift Sandra. Sandra was fifty, a single mother of four grown up boys and she had a filthy sense of humour. She and Toni had bonded as soon as they met and whenever they could manage it, which wasn't often they would head over to the park and spend an hour out of the madness around them. It was their way of de-stressing for a while before they had to go back and cope with it again.   
" So what happened to the guy with the Viagra overdose? " Sandra grinned at Toni who shook her head as she took a bite of her sub.   
Swallowing she replied " Randy took him down to see Hughes. Think he was going to have to relieve the pressure"  
Snorting Sandra almost choked on her apple. Toni grinned as she watched her regain her composure.   
" That has made my day. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on that wall. "   
" Yeah. I'm sure one look at Hughes will be enough to deflate him anyway. He's a miserable old sod."   
" when's his retirement do again? "   
" Next Saturday"  
" You going?"   
" Are you? "   
Looking at each other they grinned. If Toni went Sandra would as well. " Yeah ok. What the hell. Let's get the man drunk and send him out with a smile for once."   
"Sounds like a plan."   
They continued to chat and eat oblivious to all the activity going on around them in the park. 

Joe and Murr were sitting on a bench not too far away. They were waiting for Sal and Brian to join them so they could shoot a segment for the show. The other two were always on set later than them. They had further to commute as they still lived on the island. While they waited patiently they sipped coffee and worked out camera angles. They chatted about Bessy, the girl Joe had met recently. It looked promising and he was keen. They sat and browsed the web on their phones showing each other the things they found. Joe was engrossed in his Facebook when Murr nudged his arm. Looking over he found his friend looking at the two ladies sat a few benches over.   
" Am I crazy or is that Toni Santiago? "   
Joe looked over . It was a bright sunny day so the two women were both wearing sunglasses. It made it more difficult to tell. The blonde was older than them so he knew Murr was referring to the dark haired hottie with her. Looking closer he shook his head.   
" I don't know man. Is it? If it is she's looking good." He waggled his eyebrows at Murr in his usual over the top way. Grinning he looked again trying to be discreet.Just at that moment Toni flipped up her sunglasses onto her head and looked into her bag. Looking at each other they nodded in unison. It was her.   
" Jesus how long has it been? It's got to be at least five years right?"   
" More like six" replied Joe.   
" Yeah, yeah I think you're right. Should we go over? "   
They looked at each other each waiting for the other to make a decision.   
" Ahh c'mon she was our friend too right."   
" Yeah. I always felt bad we lost touch. C'mon."   
They rose and approached the two women who were laughing loudly in the park. 

" Toni?"   
Toni looked up at the two men stood in front of her. She recognised them immediately and her face broke into a spontaneous grin.   
" Oh my God! James! Joey! I can't believe it!"   
She rose from her seat and they embraced.   
" How are you? It's been forever! Are you ok?"   
The guys laughed as they couldn't get a word in edge ways to reply to her questions.   
" Oh I'm sorry this is my friend Sandra. Sandra this is James & Joey. Friends from , well from , forever ago!"   
The guys laughed again and shook Sandra's hand before sitting with them on the bench.   
They chatted and caught up. The guys briefly explained about the show and that they were here to film and Toni was thrilled for them. Sandra was just worried about being on TV as she hadn't had her roots touched up. Laughing they explained that they weren't rolling yet as they were waiting for the others. Toni instinctively knew who they were talking about but didn't show a reaction.   
Toni told them where she was working now and she was living close to the park and the Hospital.   
Looking at her watch Sandra stated they should head back.   
Toni swapped numbers with the guys and they promised to make arrangements to meet up soon and have a proper catch up. After more hugs and kisses Toni and Sandra waved goodbye and headed back to work. They were just out of sight and Murr and Joe were still talking about their chance meeting when they spotted Sal and Q heading in their direction.   
Looking at each other like kids caught in the cookie jar they felt suddenly nervous.   
Q never, ever , spoke about Toni. It was like the unspoken rule between the four of them. They could rip the piss about anything. Anything at all to do with Q's life.The fiancée, his cats, his devotion to comic books and games, anything but Toni. James had started to say something once just as things were beginning to settle in the aftermath and Q had nearly gone for him. He had apologised after and they had gotten over it but it was a warning. The topic was off limits.   
"'Do we tell him?"   
" I don't know man, you decide. You saw her first." 

Sal and Q were strolling over and greeted the others. Expecting to get bawled out at how late they were they were surprised when Murr just smiled at them.   
" Hey guys. How was traffic?"  
" A nightmare as usual. We're filming on the Island next week. I'm serious. You need to experience that shit too."  
" Yeah, yeah ok."   
" What's up with you two? Why are you looking so shifty?" Sal was studying them carefully immediately suspicious as they never volunteered to travel over so easily usually.   
Joey and James looked at each other and decided to come clean.  
" Sooo, you'll never guess who we just ran into."


	24. Memories and decisions

Brian had seemingly taken the news well. He hadn't shown any emotions as Joey and Murr had relayed their meeting with Toni. He could see they were watching him for a reaction but he just shrugged his shoulders and said he was glad she was ok. Inside was a different story. As soon as they had said her name it had felt like a blow to his gut. It was a name he hadn't let himself think about for a long time. He had packed up all his feelings on the subject and kept them in a deep dark hole in the back of his mind. He never went there. Now the package was slowly being brought back out and opened. He had actually seen her once or twice in passing. Each time he had quickly averted his eyes and carried on with whatever he was doing. The last time he had spotted her it was a couple of years back. He had been leaving the cinema with a date. She had been in the lobby with her date getting popcorn. The guy she was with was tall and dark and to Brian's untrained eye he guessed other females would call him hot. He had hurried past quickly and she hadn't seen him. Now he knew where she lived and worked and the guys had her number. It may change things. Question was did he want things to change? 

They filmed for the rest of the day but Brian was quiet and the others knew why. Sal broached the subject again once but Brian cut him dead and he said no more. Finally wrapping up the friends tried to coax him to go for a beer but he shook his head and gestured to Sal to head back to the car. The drive home was just as bad and stuck in the traffic on the bridge Sal decided to be bold.  
" So, that was pretty good today."  
" Yeah, I guess" Brian mumbled. He was lost in his own thoughts and was barely listening to Sal over the radio and what was going through his head.  
Sal sighed and switched off the music. " Listen Bri. Are you ok man? I know it must be pretty strange to hear her name but..."  
Brian cut him off " I dont really wanna get into it Sal."  
" Tough. We're talking about this. Now. I don't wanna get a phone call from your drunken ass in the middle of the night cos you're repressing this shit. Again. Just say it. It's going no further than this car and you know it."  
Brian looked at his friend and knew he was right. Sal had been there when he felt the worst he had ever felt in his life. Sal was the one he always called at two in the morning and spilled his guts to. Sal was the one who came round and sat with him all night or played cards til dawn so he wouldn't have to think.  
" Alright. Yeah it was strange ok. I don't know , I'm still feeling guilty about how it all played out I guess." He shook his head and threw his cap into the back seat. Running his hand through his now long shaggy hair he added " I tried to make it right but I couldn't. It's a regret I have. I don't have many but the ones I do are big"  
He was looking out of his side window. Not making eye contact.  
Sal put a meaty hand on his friends shoulder and squeezed gently. " You don't have to feel guilty anymore man. It was a long time ago. The Toni I knew wouldn't think you still have to feel like this. You have to let it go."  
" I guess , but it's easier said than done."  
With that the traffic started moving again and they spent the rest of the journey in near silence. 

Arriving home Bri was greeted by his cat Benjamin. The big black feline wound its way around his legs rubbing itself against his jeans and purring loudly. Scooping him up and dropping a kiss on him he took him out to the kitchen to feed him and give him fresh water. There he found his other cat waiting for him. Once they were sorted out Bri stuck a pizza in the oven and sat waiting for the timer to buzz. He reached for his iPad and looked up NY Memorial Hospital. Going into the website he searched for staff details and found what he was looking for. Dr Antonia Santiago. Head of Trauma Unit otherwise known as the ER. There was a head shot followed by the blurb of how long she had worked at the hospital and her credentials. She had moved there in early 2005 so had a good grounding by now. Her photo showed her to be still as beautiful as he remembered. Her hair was still dark and pulled back in a ponytail. Her smile was natural. He quickly read through but there was nothing personal mentioned. Nothing about wether she was married or had children. He moved to Facebook and couldn't find her on there. He looked for Dane. Bingo. Dane's profile was open so he could see all the details. He scrolled through numerous updates about Danes career. He was working regularly on Broadway now in various projects the biggest being Wicked. Brian was happy for him. He looked in his photos and found plenty of Dane and Kris. Some of a Pug wearing various outfits and looking seriously happy with itself, which made him smile, Pictures of Toni with a small girl and a younger little boy. Looking closer he realised this must be baby Kat. She wasn't a baby anymore. The caption underneath confirmed it was Toni's niece and nephew. And then there were plenty of Toni's old gang. Yep there she was. Various nights out all of them drinking and smiling for the camera. Parties and BBQ's . Pictures of them all on holiday somewhere , on the beach at sunset. She looked happy. She looked stunning. There were no posts about her directly but he could tell they were still in regular contact. The last photos of them together were posted a few weeks ago. She was sitting on Danes lap as they posed for a selfie together. She was smiling at the camera and winking and it felt like she was looking directly at him. Hearing the buzzer he shook himself and logged off. He needed time to think about this properly. He was still turning it over in his mind in the early hours before he made a decision. He would try. Fuck it what did he have to lose? He just had to decide how to approach her. Happy with this in his own mind, he finally drifted off.


	25. Lunch date

" Murr I'm not fucking around. Can you please give me the number."  
Murr shook his head. " Nah. I can't man. I can't let you just ring the girl outta nowhere and put her on the spot like that. It's not fair."  
Quinn was getting wound up. " I won't do that. How about I just text her then?"  
" You're forgetting I know you Q. You won't be happy doing that. You won't want to wait for a reply then you'll get all pissed off again. I'm not giving you the number so stop asking."  
Quinn took a deep breath and looked at James. He had that annoying grin all over his face and he knew he wouldn't break him. Fuck it , he'd try Joe.  
He met the same reaction. They had obviously had a conversation about this. However there was a glimmer of hope.  
" Listen, I'm meeting her for lunch this week. I'll bring it up. If she's happy for me to give you her number then I'll send it to you straight away. How's that?"  
Quinn nodded and said no more. But he immediately started thinking.

Toni woke up early on Thursday morning. It was her first day off in a few weeks and she was looking forward to chilling out for the next few days. She had arranged to go get her hair and nails done today and was meeting Joe for a late lunch at a roof top restaurant in Manhattan.Toni had been there a few months ago for cocktails with Carla and Del when she had made a flying visit, and had loved it. She was excited. Jumping into the shower she turned the radio up and sang along as she soaped herself and got ready.  
A few pampered hours later Toni felt and looked great . She strolled through Central Park heading for her rendezvous with Joey. Spotting him standing outside waiting for her she waved and his face lit up with his huge infectious grin.  
" Hey Dr! Looking good girl" he dropped a kiss on her cheek and they hugged.  
" Hey yourself Mr Gatto. Looking very dapper if I may say." He did look good in a crisp white shirt which highlighted his tan and khaki chinos.She took his arm and they chatted as they made their way up to the roof.  
A few cocktails later and over some Tapas they were nearly all caught up. Joey had told her more about the show and about his current sales job. He told her about Bessy and his hopes that it would develop. They talked about everything except the elephant in the room which was Brian. She didn't broach the subject at all even though she asked after Sal and Murr. He didn't know how to go about bringing him up. He had promised to ask permission to give him her digits but was still thinking about how to do it. Still , they were in no rush and the afternoon turned to early evening and neither of them wanted to leave just yet. Suggesting they move elsewhere Toni agreed and they went to a small Irish bar a few blocks over. The guys had been there a couple of times and Joey loved the place.  
It was lively and loud. The drinks were good and the music was live so they had a blast. Joey was just about getting the courage up to ask her about Brian when he stopped mid sentence. Following his gaze she looked over her shoulder and directly at Brian Quinn who was making his way over to them followed by Sal and Murr. 

"Guys! What are you doing here?" Joe was still smiling as he greeted his friends but squeezed Toni's hand to check if she was ok with this turn of events. She looked at him and he mouthed" You ok? Or you wanna go?"  
Toni shook her head. She mouthed back " I'll be fine." She was a big girl. She could handle this. After all it had been a hell of a long time since she had felt anything for Brian. She turned back to the men who were now all gathered around the table. Sal sat on the chair next to her and pulled her in for a bear hug.  
" Ton! Look at you. Looking good enough to eat baby girl."  
" Thanks Sal. How are you? Joey's been telling me good things."  
" Yeah all good. All good. I'm stoked to see you. What you drinking? The usual? "  
" Yeah."  
" Ok back in a sec." And with that he rose and taking the others orders too he went to the bar. It meant she had to turn her attention back to the table.  
She couldn't avoid the intense dark gaze directed at her. " Brian" she murmured and finally acknowledged his presence.  
" Hi Princess. How you doin?"  
She knew he was feeling a little nervous too. He always tended to go a little overboard with the charisma when he was unsure of himself.  
"'I'm good. Thanks. How about you?"  
" Yeah. Good. I'm good too. Real good in fact. Good"  
Murr and Joey just smirked. Watching Q flounder with a woman was unusual as he normally came across as confident to the ladies. They continued their conversation and pretended not to hear him stumble over his words.  
Toni just watched him. He was pretending to adjust his clothing just to get his shit together. His hair was so long. Still it suited him. She found herself wondering if it felt as soft as it looked. His eyes were as dark as she remembered. She had gotten so lost in those eyes in the past she sometimes doubted that they were as lovely as she recalled. He fussed around a little longer running his fingers through the hair and picking imaginary fluff from his shirt. After what seemed like forever, even though it was only a few minutes Sal returned with the drinks and Brian was grateful for the distraction. Toni spent the rest of the night talking and dancing with the others as Brian watched her quietly. They had joined in the conversations but didn't directly converse themselves. Still it wasn't too awkward and before they all realised it the bar rang the bell for last orders.  
Gathering her bag and jacket Toni said goodnight and waved away offers of helping her get home. She would be fine. Kisses and promises to meet again soon were exchanged and Toni left them with their final drinks. Leaving the bar she headed up the block to find a cab.  
" TONI!"  
She turned. Yep , Brian was holding up his arm and running up behind her.  
" What's up?"  
" Can I get your number?"  
Toni shook her head. She really didn't want to walk this path again.  
" What for Q?"  
" So we can keep in touch. What? You want to see the others but not me?"  
"It's not the same with them though is it? They don't have the same history as us."  
" look I wanna stay friends. That's it. Just pals. I'm seeing someone anyway so I'm not gonna be trying to hit on you. I think given how long we've known each other that we can do that at least."  
She took in the info on the girlfriend. He was seeing someone. Huh. Ok fine. She nodded.  
" give me your phone"  
Grinning he handed it over and she input her digits for him. Handing it back he immediately hit dial and heard her ringtone ringing out from her bag.  
" Now you have mine too."  
" Great. Well see you around I guess."  
" Yeah . Soon ok."  
Raising her hand she walked on and went to get her ride home.  
Looking at his phone again he smiled widely when he realised she had input her contact details as 'Princess'.


	26. Movie night

" Show me!"   
Toni handed her phone to Chanel who opened the message from Brian. He had text her in the very early hours of that morning and Toni had woken up to find it. 

Princess, we're going to the movies tonight. Wanna join? Let me know and I'll text u the details l8r.   
Ps looking hot last night ;) 

" Holy shit! So much for being just friends. He actually used the winking face. Ton, he's still into you!"   
" Don't be daft. It's been years. He's just being friendly. Trying too hard but being nice."   
" Listen to me. He's into you. You don't message a girl telling her she's hot unless you want to do the dirty."   
Toni laughed and Chanel handed her phone back. She had filled her in on all the details from yesterday. They were in the park watching the kids run, jump and burn off their boundless energy. Toni loved spending time with them. She watched them as often as she could so Chanel and Mikey could have a break now and then.   
" So are you going tonight?" Chanel asked her with a wicked smile.   
" I don't know. I'm torn. I want to spend time with the guys. I had forgotten how much I loved being with them all. I missed them at the start and then I just had to let them go. Now I can spend time with them but I don't want to get into any more arguments with Quinn. And we will argue. I know it won't take long. He has this way of getting to me."   
Chanel shook her head. " If you want to go you shouldn't let him worry you. Just go and enjoy. If he starts getting on your nerves just do what I always do."  
" What's that?"   
" count to ten, take a deep breath, then punch him in the face."   
They both laughed. She was joking of course but Toni knew there may be an element of truth in what she said. No one messed with Chanel. Hearing Paulie starting to whine and then cry loudly they both jumped up to see what was the matter and they spoke no more about it. 

Later that afternoon at home Toni knew she had to decide. Tapping out a reply she sent it to him before she could second guess herself

What r u going to see? 

It only took a few minutes to receive a reply. 

Iron Man 2. You coming? 

Yeah. Ok let me know where & when. See you then. 

She heard her text go off again and noted the info. She then went to get ready. 

Just before eight she pulled into the parking lot of the cinema. Taking a last quick look in the mirror she slicked on a fresh layer of gloss, ran her hands through her hair and took a deep breath. She didn't know why but she was nervous. Damn Quinn! She had to get over this shit. She wouldn't let herself get taken in by him again. Feeling calmer and gathering her stuff she went to meet the guys. Pushing her way through the revolving door she looked around but didn't see them. She looked into her bag to search for her phone in case they had text her so didn't see Brians approach. 

He was watching for her from the bar. He had arrived early and taken a stool at the front that gave him the perfect spot to see everything down below. She walked in and he couldn't help but smile to himself. She was so goddamn gorgeous. Even just in jeans and a casual top she was the sexiest girl there. He saw her looking at her phone and went down to meet her before she decided to text one of the others. The others that knew nothing about this trip. Yeah he knew it was a little underhand but he couldn't think of another way to meet up with her alone. Besides, it wasn't as if anything was going to happen. Right?   
" Hey. You ok? Ready to go in? I got the tickets already."   
" Hi Quinn. Where are the others? Have they gone in?"   
" Well the thing is they all kinda bailed at the last minute so it's just the two of us. Hope that's ok?"   
Toni looked at him and without pausing she hit Sals number on her phone.   
" Hello ?"   
" Hi Sal it's Toni." She was looking at Q the whole time and he had started to look a little funny.   
" Oh hey Ton what's up?"  
" So tell me why you had to bail tonight."   
" Bail? Bail on what ? "   
" I think you'd better talk to Quinn. " she handed him her phone and could hear Sal question him on the other end of the line.   
" Just a misunderstanding man. I thought we were seeing the film tonight. Yeah, Yeah ok. See you in the morning." Toni took the phone back from his hand without warning.   
" Sal did you make plans with Bri to see a film tonight?"   
" I don't think so Ton but ...."   
" Yeah that's what I thought. Thanks Sal see you soon." She waited for him to say bye then cut the call.   
" What are you doing?"   
Brian knew it was no good. " I just wanted to catch up properly. You know just us."  
Toni shook her head. " What's your girlfriends name?'   
" What?"   
" What's her name? The person you're seeing? The one you told me about last night?"   
Brian sighed and rubbed his face. " Alright, alright there is no girl."   
" Jesus Christ. I'm not doing this Brian. No way. " she started to move toward the exit.   
" Hey! Wait up , wait up. I swear Ton, no funny business. Just friends remember. I didn't bring you here to ambush you. I just thought it would be good to catch up properly. No bullshit. C'mon the films about to start."   
Toni shook her head but relented. " You're buying the popcorn too."   
Smiling now Brian agreed and one large popcorn later they were sitting in the theatre.

Afterwards they made their way back to the bar so they could talk. Sipping her soda she watched him watching her. Shaking her head she steered the conversation to neutral territory. How was his family? Was he still in the service? Listening to him as he filled in the gaps it was as if they had never been apart. He was exactly as she remembered him. A little unsure of himself but he covered it up well. The same grin that had always set her pulse going a little faster. The laugh. The penetrating eyes. Shaking herself to concentrate she responded in kind and told him what she had been up to. He was impressed. She was still pretty young to have so much responsibility at the Hospital but he knew her and knew if anyone could do it she could.   
Looking at her watch she slipped down from her stool. " I'd better get going. Thanks for tonight. Are you walking out?"   
" Yeah ok let's go."   
They headed for the car park and he walked her back to her car, whistling as he caught sight of her sleek black BMW.   
" you like it?"   
" nice. very nice. Suits you."  
Laughing she asked which one was his.   
" The red jeep over there." He pointed in the general direction of his ride.   
" Not too shabby." Opening the door of her car she looked at him " Night Quinn"   
" Night Ton. Safe drive home. See you soon?"   
" I guess. So long as we're clear. Just friends."   
" Just friends." He echoed her and satisfied she got into her car and with a wave drove off.  
Dropping his hand after she had gone Quinn watched her go. Now all he had to figure out was how to not fucking fall in love with her. Again. He had a feeling it may already be too late.


	27. Joes Birthday

True to his word, Quinn didn't come on too strong with Toni.He didn't want to scare her off. Still he did flirt a little. Couldn't help it. She took it well but never rose to the bait. They got together when they had time. Their shifts didn't always match so it was actually pretty rare. Toni spent time reconnecting with the other guys too, going to dinner or the movies with them. They went to gigs and went to watch Sal do his stand up routine. It was fun. Soon enough it was like they had never stopped hanging out. They fit back into each other's lives almost seamlessly and for that Toni was grateful. Good friends are hard to find but now she realised once you were friends with someone, truly, you always would be. 

It was a busy Saturday afternoon in the Hospital. Toni was dealing with a guy who had cut through three of his fingers whilst carving his roast. Turns out he was very intoxicated and had thought it would be a good idea to use a mini chainsaw to do the job. Just when you thought you had seen it all.... Toni had managed to control the bleeding and was consulting with the surgeon who would be trying to save the fingers for reattachment. Having done what she could for him she left her colleagues to take over. Checking the boards and seeing that all was under control she checked the time and rang Sandra to see if she wanted to get together for lunch. Unable to get an answer she quickly shot off a text to tell her where she would be if she got chance to join her. Setting off she headed for the park. She had just turned into the entrance when her phone started ringing in her pocket. Assuming it was Sandra returning her call she didn't look at the details on the screen and answered " Hey San I'm at the usual place."   
Hearing a deep chuckle she realised it wasn't her.   
" Hey Princess. And where would that be?"   
" oh hey Q , sorry thought you were someone else. Just taking a walk. Getting some air. Why what's up?"   
" Just checking in. Haven't seen you in a while. Are you free tonight?"   
Toni had to think for a sec. She was due to get off at six as she had started at six that morning but it was pretty rare she actually got to leave on time. Usually she'd be stumbling out clutching an arm full of papers she had to read around nine or ten.   
" Probably not Q. I'm not sure when I'll get to escape."   
" Ah damn. He's been trying to reach you for a few days. It's Joes birthday and we're all meeting up for dinner and drinks. We finally get to meet Bessy tonight too. We were all hoping you could make it."'  
" Shit! I knew it was soon but I didn't realise it was today. " Toni was quickly thinking around the problem. If she did her rounds just a half hour earlier and headed back to do her reports during this lunchtime she could probably justify getting away a little earlier.   
" what time are you meeting? And where?"   
" Just meeting at Joe and Murrs place. He said to be there at eight."   
" I think I can manage it. See you there."   
" Alright! See you later then. Bye "   
" Later. Bye." 

Toni stuck to her plan, worked quickly, and skipped out with everything she needed to do sorted by six. She stopped off on her way home to pick up a birthday card and a huge basket of fresh gourmet donuts and muffins for Joe. As soon as she saw them she smiled knowing it was perfect for him. She also picked up some beers & bottles of wine for dinner. She got home and wasted no time in getting ready. Heading back out by half seven she set off for the City.   
As she made her way up to the apartment she met up with James who was also just getting back there. He had been out to get drinks and they made their way in to the apartment together. The others were there already drinking and enjoying themselves. They all shouted out their hellos. Spotting the new arrivals Joe came over to greet them.   
" Hey here you are! We were gettin impatient. Dinners nearly ready. Hope you don't mind vegetarian. Bessy doesn't eat meat so...."   
" No veggie is fine! Happy birthday Joe" Toni kissed their host and he took the drinks and gifts.   
" Thanks Ton, hey look at these! I'm gonna get so goddamn fat. Everyone has brought me dessert. Anyway, Come meet Bess."   
Toni was introduced to Joes girlfriend sat down next to her on the couch.They hit it off really well. Bessy was lovely. She was obviously into Joey and Toni thought she was great. Funny and smart and she and Joey shared a love of animals and animal rights. They had a lot in common.   
She had spotted Quinn talking to Sal and had waved but hadn't had chance to talk to him yet. She sat and chatted with Joey and Bess until it was time to eat. They all made their way to the dining room and Toni found herself sat between Quinn and Murr at the table.   
" How you doin princess? "   
" I'm good Bri. You? "   
"Better for seeing you" he winked and she shook her head in mock resignation.   
They spent a lovely evening together. The conversation and the drinks were flowing and everyone was having a good time. Toni didn't drink a lot as she would be driving home but it didn't stop her enjoying herself. Joey didn't drink either so she wasn't the odd one out. She felt Quinn's fingers making patterns on her back and his large hand stroking over her silky dress a few times but didn't move to shake him off. It was actually really nice and relaxing . Looking over she found him studying her from the corner of his eye just waiting to be scolded. When she didn't say anything he grinned and carried on.   
Sal excused himself first as he had an early start. Not long after he had left Toni noted it was gone midnight and decided she better head off too.   
Thanking Joe and Murr and swapping contact details with Bessy , promising to meet up soon she headed out.  
" Hey Ton wait up. "   
Quinn walked her out and they headed down the stairs.   
" So, when you off next? "   
" umm , actually I've got Friday to Monday back in Tuesday after. You?"   
" As it happens I'm off next weekend too."' He grinned widely at the coincidence.   
" Really? Nice. What you up to?"   
" You wanna get together? We could do something. You know if you want. I could rub your back again. I think you like it."   
She couldn't help laughing at his cheekiness. " You are pretty good at it. "   
" I'm even better when in direct contact with the skin.."   
Toni ignored the flirting " I'm taking Kat and Paulie to Coney Island on Saturday. I promised them a trip out there. You're welcome to come if you want."   
" I want. Absolutely. I haven't been out there for ages."   
"Ok then. I'll be picking them up at ten. Then we'll come for you."   
" It's a date."   
" No Q it's not."   
" Hey! I'm joking. "   
They had reached the parking area under the apartments and Toni opened up her car. Turning she found Quinn standing directly behind her. Very close. She could smell his cologne and it was heavenly.   
" Aren't you gonna kiss me goodnight? " he was looking at her intently, and despite his words she knew he was serious. She felt her temperature rise slightly.   
Shaking her head she smiled and ducked into the car without meeting his lips.   
" Night Q."   
" See you Saturday."   
" Saturday. And no flirting."   
Quinn grinned but made no promises.


	28. K-I-S-S-I-N-G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fun day out

Friday rolled around and Toni had a long lie in. She needed the sleep. Desperately. Finally rolling out of bed at 11.30 she had a quick shower and hit the gym. Feeling much more awake when she left there following her spin class she called to get supplies and run chores. She then headed back home to prepare dinner for Dane and Kris who were coming over for the night.   
She had just finished laying the table when she heard the key in the door and her best friend came tumbling in through the door with his usual exuberance. They still kept keys to each other's homes. It was symbolic of the fact that they still felt that they lived together and they both liked the remaining connection.   
" Where are you darling?"   
" In the dining room!"   
They came through and Arthur came waddling in with them. Toni bent to pet the fat little dog as he frantically attempted to lick all over her face. Handing him back to Kris they exchanged greetings and she accepted the wine they had brought.   
Much later, all full on the pasta dish Toni had served and a good few glasses of wine they sat around the table and caught up properly. Dane was still concentrating on his role in Wicked but had been offered a lead in Mamma Mia and was tempted to jump. Kris and Toni thought it would be a great opportunity and thought he should go for it. Kris was busy too. He was an artist and had his own small gallery. He had a new exhibition to arrange and was working long hours to get it all together. Tonight's night off was a rare treat for all of them. As Arthur snored loudly in the snuggly bed Toni kept at hers for him talk turned to Toni's love life.   
" So have you fallen back under the Quinn spell yet?"   
Toni laughed and shook her head. " No. He's been friendly but we're clear. I'm not going for another round. "   
" Third time lucky though Ton" ventured Kris who didn't know all of the story just bits here and there that he had picked up and the little that Dane had told him.   
Smiling at him Toni replied " Honestly Kris, it's better this way. Trust me."   
Dane nodded his head in agreement but added " So why are you going out with him tomorrow then?"   
" I'm taking the kids to Coney Island. It was spur of the moment that I invited him. It's not a date if you're babysitting. "   
" Yeah right." Dane smiled and shook his head but they said no more about the subject as they cleared up and then watched a movie together before heading to bed.   
Toni lay in the dark listening to them chat quietly in her spare room and smiled to herself. Was Dane right? Was she kidding herself about Brian? Deep down she knew that there were feelings there. Sometimes she looked at him and had to stop herself from reaching for him. She just needed to keep it friendly. She just didn't have the time or energy for another heartbreak. Turning over she finally drifted off. 

Early the next morning the three of them had breakfast together then Toni dropped them home. Heading to Chanel and Mikey's place she turned up the radio and dropped the Windows. The day was already warming up and promised to be beautiful. Pulling into the driveway the kids came pouring out of the house to greet her.   
" Hey! Are you ready to go!?"   
They were jumping around as Chanel desperately chased them around with toast and sun cream trying to get them to eat and protected before they left.   
" I hope you & Brian have enough energy for this today. They've been wound up all week. "   
Toni smiled. " We'll be fine. Don't worry about us right kids?"   
This was met with cheers as Toni and Mikey got them strapped into the car seats safely.   
" So are you back with him then? " her Brother was a little concerned knowing the way it had gone down before. He had always liked Brian. Respected him as a serviceman like Dad, but he didn't want his Sister hurt again.   
" No. And I don't intend that to change in the near future. Don't worry I won't expose them to anything"   
Giggling Kat and Paulie made kissy faces and noises at her and she made the last checks before they set off.   
" Not too much sugar!" Warned Chanel.   
Toni just raised an eyebrow. There was no way they could avoid a sugar overload today and Chanel knew it.  
" Wave bye to Mom and Dad kids" and with a beep of the horn they set off to pick up Brian.   
The first five minutes of the journey were quiet as the kids looked out at their neighbourhood. Pointing out their school and where various friend lived.   
" Who's Brian , Toni?"   
Toni looked at the two inquisitive faces in her mirror. " He's my friend. He's really nice and he's going to come with us today to the aquarium and the rides if it's still ok with you two."  
Kat and Paulie looked at each other. Toni had asked them if they were OK with it already on the phone and they had agreed then. They nodded their heads now and both said that it was ok with them. The excitement of going out with Toni was enough for them whatever else happened. They loved spending time with her as they always did something fun together.   
" Ok then now what shall we listen to? "   
Slipping in the Disney album on the CD player they sang along with the little mermaid.   
Pulling onto Brians street she saw him waiting patiently outside his house. She stopped and he opened the passenger door. "Morning!"   
" Morning Brian."   
He looked into the back seat and took in the wide eyed stares coming from the two little passengers. Smiling at them he was glad to see them respond with smiles of their own. " Hi kids. I'm Brian. Are we gonna have some fun today or what?"   
This was greeted by loud cheers and they set off.   
The entire journey Brian answered the never ending questions coming from Kat and Paulie. They were thrilled to learn he was a firefighter just like their Poppa and he had rescued people and cats. They asked him why his hair was so long. They asked him what his favourite food and colour was. He answered them with endless patience and good humour and sang along with The Disney gang with gusto.   
They spent a really great day together. The kids were thrilled with the sharks and the sea lions. Endless rides in the carousel and bumper cars. Plenty of candy floss , ice cream and hot dogs. Brian looked like he was having a ball and Toni couldn't help but smile as he scooped up Paulie and carried him around in his shoulders when he started to flag. As a final treat Kat was allowed to pick the last ride. She spotted the ghost train and her eyes lit up.   
" Oh I don't know. I don't think you'll like it."   
" Pleeeeeease Toni! Pleeeeeeease"   
Sighing Toni looked to Brian to back her up but he was grinning. " C'mon Toni it's not that bad. She'll be fine. And I know Paulie here's seen enough Scooby Doo to cope . you're a tough guy right? "   
Paulie nodded his agreement and flexed his non existent muscles and knowing she was outnumbered they made their way over.   
Settling in the carriage the kids chose to go in front and Toni and Brian sat in back. As the cart clattered in through the entrance the kids started whooping and Brian moved in closer.   
Toni was watching the kids closely to make sure they wouldn't get frightened so she didn't notice anything until Brian slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her in closer.   
She looked over at him quickly and whispered" What are you doing?"   
" I'm scared." He was grinning cheekily " You need to protect me."   
" Shut up!"   
Without warning he pressed his lips to hers and stole a kiss. At that moment a plastic skeleton dropped from the ceiling and a loud shriek distracted Toni from immediately   
responding to his actions.   
The kids were screaming but from excitement not fear. As they exited the ride the two of them started jumping up and down. " Again! Again Toni please. "   
" Nope I think that's enough for one day. C'mon were going to eat then I'm taking you home." 

Over food Brian and Toni both concentrated on the kids and the kiss wasn't mentioned but as they started the drive back it didn't take long for the passengers in the back seats to drop off and Toni noting that they were out asked " What the hell was that back there?"'  
" What?"'  
Dropping her voice so as not to disturb " Kissing me. I thought we were on the same page on this. "   
Brian shrugged. " I wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss you right now. I want to kiss you all the time. I've wanted to do that since we first met up again so now I have."   
" Jesus!" Toni tried not to let his words get to her by she felt a fluttering in her stomach.   
They spent the rest of the journey listening to the radio but not talking. Brian dropped his cap over his eyes and pretended to sleep. He was caught up in thinking about how to kiss her again. An hour later he still hadn't figured it out and Toni was nudging him to wake up. He was home. Stirring himself he looked back but the kids were still out.   
" Say bye for me ok?"   
" Yeah I will."   
" Ah c'mon Ton. Don't be pissed."   
" Don't cross the line then."   
" Shit! It was just a kiss. Chill out will you. It's not as if we haven't done anything like that before."   
Toni just looked at him and taking the hint he got out of the car.   
She pulled off before he had chance to say anything else. Sighing he watched her leave and then he made his way inside. 

Toni dropped the still exhausted kids back to their grateful parents and stayed for a coffee. Sitting in the kitchen with Chanel as Mikey bathed them she filled her in on the activities of the day.   
" So how was he?"   
"'Paulie was fine."'  
Chanel rolled her eyes. " Don't be purposefully dim Ton. You know who I'm talking about. "   
" He was great with the kids. Really. They seemed to love him."   
" How was he with you?"   
" He tried to hold my hand a couple of times but I avoided it. He kissed me on the goddamn ghost train."   
" AHHH! I knew it! He's still into you. Aww it's sweet ."   
" Is it?"   
" yes it is and you know it girl."   
Toni shook her head. " I just can't Chan. It's asking for trouble. "   
" A little trouble is just what you need. It's been too long. When was your last date Toni? It must be four, no five months ago. And did you get any action?"   
" Some. You needn't worry about my sex life."   
" Someone's got to."   
Picking up her car keys she kissed her sister goodbye and went to say the same to the others.   
The kids were in the bath playing with sharks " Like the ones we saw with Brian!" Paulie informed her and agreeing she gave them all kisses and headed out.   
Sitting in the car she made a decision. Starting up the powerful engine she headed back towards Brians house.


	29. Then, Now, Always.

Brian was frustrated. He had slammed the door behind him and hit the shower. Thinking of her, again, and how she had looked today in her peachy coloured, short sundress, made him hard and he found himself stroking his thick member gradually getting faster and harder until he found his release. Soaping himself he stood there for a long time. Finally he emerged and pulling on a pair of sweatpants he made his way back downstairs and having nothing else to do he switched on the Xbox to lose himself in his current obsession. 

Hearing the doorbell a half hour later he roused himself and made his way to answer it. He could make out her silhouette through the glass and felt his pulse quicken. Pushing his still damp hair back off his face he opened the door.  
" Princess?"  
" Yeah. Got a beer?"  
" For you? Yeah I guess I can find some."  
Toni came inside and made her way into the lounge. He went to retrieve the beers and when he came back she had kicked off her shoes and had her legs over the edge of the couch playing the game where he had left off.  
" Make yourself at home" he joked and she smiled taking the beer from his outstretched hand.  
" Thanks."  
Taking the other controller they sat and played it together for a while. Neither said anything about her returning and the reasoning behind it. He figured she'd tell him eventually and she was still just running on instinct.  
It got dark outside and the only light in the room was from the TV. As her character lost yet another life she finally set the buttons aside and just sat watching him manouver around in the virtual reality on the screen. He sat on the floor in front of the couch and she was laying across it. Running her hands through his hair he moved back closer to her so she could continue without stretching. They stayed like that for a while.  
" Are you staying?" He asked without turning round.  
" Yeah."  
They said no more but Brian felt his heart swell. 

A couple more beers and she was yawning. It was late and they had run after the kids all day.  
" c'mon I'll show you the spare room. "  
Following him up the stairs he showed her where everything was and gave her a t-shirt for bed and a few towels for the shower. Accepting them gratefully she said goodnight and he shut the door on her room to give her some privacy. As he hit his bed he heard the shower turn on and he couldn't help but imagine her standing in there under the water. Groaning he buried his head in the pillow to block out the noise and the thoughts. 

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew he woke to the sound of his bedroom door creaking open. Looking around it was still dark and he guessed it was the early hours of the morning. Raising his head slightly his eyes began to focus in the dark and he could make out Toni walking slowly over to where he was laying.  
" whass the matter?"  
" Shhh. If you talk I'm gonna lose my nerve."  
He felt her move onto the bed and finally understood. 

She pulled back the covers and got in next to him. " Do you want me Quinn?"  
" Are you fucking kidding me? Only since the first moment I saw you. Then, now, fucking always."  
Needing to hear nothing else Toni climbed on top of him and pulled his batman tshirt over her head revealing she was naked underneath. He moved the top half of his body rising to meet her and they kissed deeply, months of untapped lust starting to spill out.  
Moving slowly together she pushed him back down onto his pillows without breaking the kiss. Their bodies ground , fitting together so well , as if they were two parts of one whole, creating delicious friction as she moved down his body to remove his boxers. Throwing them to the ground she wasted no time in capturing him in her mouth.  
" Holy shit Ton. Don't fucking stop."  
She tasted his pre cum and flicking her tongue over the sensitive head of his penis she heard him groan appreciatively.  
He had to stop her or this would be over soon and he wanted this moment to last.  
When she came up for air he guided her gently back up and kissed her slowly. Turning so now she was under him he moved down her body kissing as he went to return the favour.  
Working on her sensitive clit with his mouth he also slipped his finger inside her silky wet folds and heard her gasp in appreciation. Hitting her clit and her G spot simultaneously pushed her over the edge quickly and she climaxed hard calling out " Brian Michael Quinn!!" as she did so. It made him grin and he moved over her pushing himself inside her smoothly.  
Starting slow but gradually gaining pace he made love to her. He buried his face in her hair and nuzzling her neck he whispered how much he loved her. Still. She held him close and all too soon he felt his climax spill out and into her warm, lovely body.  
She held him close and soon his eyes grew heavy again. Snuggling up to her he fell asleep as she slowly stroked his neck and back. 

When he awoke again it was fully light and he was alone.


	30. Coming home

Throwing off the covers he stomped out of his bedroom and threw open the door of the spare room. Noting the neatly made bed and his t-shirt folded on top he started to curse under his breath. She had gone. Like a goddamn ninja, just snuck in , rocked his world, again, and then snuck back out, up and left. Cursing loudly now he went to shower and get dressed. 

A half hour and a hot shower later had done absolutley zero to improve his mood. Still stomping and crashing around he made his way downstairs to grab something for breakfast. The early morning unexpected workout had left him famished. As he approached the fridge he noticed a note tucked under the magnet and he grabbed at it. 

Bri ,  
Sorry had to go. Call from work. See you soon 

T xx

Huh. Feeling slightly less pissed now he fixed himself some French toast and OJ and as he ate he wondered when he would get to see her again. 

Toni felt bad about lying to him . She didn't have a call from work. She had felt claustrophobic. She had been watching him, he was sleeping soundly with this peaceful look on his handsome face and she had suddenly had a feeling that she was falling back into the same old routine. Meet Brian Quinn, develop strong feelings for him, declare your deepest feelings, fuck him, then fall out with him so spectacularly one of you leaves the other and it takes months to get over it leaving you both miserable and fucking depressed. She didn't want to go through the last couple of steps again. Taking care not to disturb him she had disentangled herself from his arms and leaving his place just as the sun was rising she headed home to try and get her head straight.

Getting back to her apartment she threw in a load of washing and then had a long hot bath to try and relax. Her day was free so she took her time in the bubbles. Emerging when she started to wrinkle she threw on her robe and made herself a strong cup of coffee. Heading back into the living room she hit her machine to listen to her messages. One from Carol inviting her to dinner later. One from Dane telling her he had accepted the part in Mamma Mia and would be starting next month. He would get her tickets.How many did she need?. And finally one from Brian. It had been left only twenty minutes ago as she was in the tub.  
" Hey Princess, kinda bummed to not find you here this morning, I was hoping for another round. Last night was really..... Well really nice. Sorry does that sound sappy? Anyway I'll see you soon I guess. Bye " the beep went off loudly and Toni hit the button. Taking a deep breath she called Carol back to see if she needed her to bring anything to lunch and to ask if she could invite a friend. 

Brian pulled up outside Toni's family house at two. He could see her car in the drive along with a couple of others. Looking at the neat yard and the bright red door front door he remembered the first time he had come here. Seemed like an eternity ago. He had been thrilled to get her call and accepted her offer to join them all for lunch immediately. He had stopped off to get flowers for Carol, whom he was about to meet for the first time. Approaching the door he could hear the kids running around inside and what seemed like a lot of voices. Knocking loudly he didn't have to wait too long as Carol opened the door with a large genuine smile. Welcoming him into the home she gushed her thanks for the flowers and guided him out to sit with everyone else the kitchen. Toni looked up from where she was drawing with Kat and smiled at him. Paulie threw himself at Brians legs and started chattering away a mile a minute and the others all greeted him warmly. He felt immediately at home. He sat down next to Toni and she winkedat him. Paulie asked if Brian was her boyfriend and Mikey snorted into his beer. " We're friends P" Toni told her nephew whilst nudging her brother and was grateful for the distraction when Carol started bringing the dishes out. Dinner was as usual a loud , noisy, affair as everyone talked catching up with each other. Frank and Carol had found a few potential homes in Florida and we're going out to see some the next week. Mikey and Chanel were going with them and taking the kids to Disney. They were understandably all excited. Brian filled everyone in on the show and what he was up to. Frank quizzed him on the station and they swapped stories about the service. When everyone was full Toni volunteered to clear up and wash the dishes as the others headed out to the back yard to chill out. Brian stayed behind to help her. As she stood over the sink up to her elbows in soapy water he came up behind her and breathing in her coconut shampoo he moved her hair gently to the side and kissed her neck.  
" Don't! "  
" What? Everyone's outside. Just us here. C'mon give me a kiss."  
She turned to face him. " Bri if we're going to do this... Shit .. I don't even know what this is but if we're heading back down the same road then we need to rethink our route."  
He was looking at her intently and nodded. " Ok. Ok. So what do you want here Princess?"  
" I don't know. We stay friends and see how it goes."  
Brian moved back and picked up the towel. Dropping his voice he whispered " Friends? You were being a bit more than friendly a few hours ago Ton. You were screaming my name as I made you come as I recall it. "  
Not meeting his gaze Toni knew he was right. She had instigated it all last night and now she was second guessing herself. She didn't want to lead him on but at the same time she didn't want to be without him in her life. She wanted her cake and to eat it and it wasn't being fair.  
" I'm sorry Bri. Prehaps we should just leave it there."  
" Jesus Christ. I don't think I'll ever understand you Ton. I told you how I felt last night. I can't do anymore than that. I came here today and spent time with your amazing family. I like them. I fucking love you. You won't even give this a chance."  
Toni was starting to get het up. " But I have Bri. I have given it a chance in the past and it got me and us nowhere. I was a fucking mess for a long time after the last disaster and I'm not up for that again."  
Brian looked at her and she at him. It hurt him to think he had been the cause of any pain to her. He knew he had hurt her. Prehaps she was right. Prehaps they were better off leaving the sex out of it. It would be hard but he wanted her in his life. If it was as a friend it was better that than not at all.  
Sighing in resignation he started to wipe the dishes and they worked alongside each other in silence . 

Not long after he said his goodbyes and everyone told him they hoped to see him again soon. Toni walked him out to his car. Her stomach was in knots. She didn't want him to leave when they were in this state of mind.  
" Are you ok?"  
" Yeah. I'm fine. Friends right? "  
" Friends. Absolutely. "  
" When you off next? "  
" Couple of weeks. I'm out with the paramedics this week. You?"  
" In tomorrow, then off again Friday. We're filming over the weekend. I'll give you a ring."  
" Ok. See ya."  
" Bye Ton."  
She watched him drive off and made her way back inside. Grabbing a soda she joined her family in the yard and they sat together watching the kids play for the rest of the afternoon.  
Just before she was heading off herself her Father asked to speak to her in the den. Following him in they sat and he told her his plan. He wanted her to move back into the family home when they went to Florida.  
" What about Mikey and Frankie?" She asked him.  
" I've discussed it with your brothers already and they are both happy for you to have the house. Frankies settled in San Fran and he's not coming back home to live Toni. Mikey and Chanel have their own place. When my days are over the kids will inherit whatever I have left so everyone's happy. Toni please think about it. You can commute to the Hospital easily enough. This is your home. You were born here. It's yours if you want it."  
" Oh Daddy. Thank you! Thank you. It means so much to me." Toni was crying now and her father wiped her tears and hugged her hard.  
" I love you Antonia. We want to see you raise a family here too. And we'll be coming back and fore all the time so that forth bedroom is still ours ok."  
Smiling she nodded her agreement. Joining the others again they let them know it was all sorted. Toni would be moving home. Moving back to Staten Island and a mere ten minute drive to Brian Quinn's place.


	31. The new girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise awaits....

Despite their promises to keep in touch it was actually Sal who contacted Toni as August began. They were filming for the day in Brooklyn and would then be heading on to a local bar for a few drinks. He invited her to join them and catch up. Bessy was going to be there as was the girl Sal had been seeing recently. She was a Brooklyn native named Jessie and it was early days but it looked good. Toni was glad to hear him sound enthusiastic about a girl and agreed to meet them after filming wrapped up. 

Later that night she headed to the Bar that Sal had suggested. She looked good and felt great. She had been feeling a little run down lately but had started taking some vitamins to help. She was always tired so that was nothing new. Tonight though she felt her spirit lift at the thought of seeing her friends. Heading to the bar she sent Sal a text to tell him she was on her way and she was glad he was outside to greet her when she hopped out of her cab.  
" Toni. You look lovely as always"  
" Why thank you Mr Vulcano. Such a charmer. Where's the squeeze? "  
Laughing Sal pointed inside but stopped her as she went to enter.  
" Listen Ton. Just so you're not ambushed. Q's brought someone too."  
" That's fine Sal. No worries. "  
" Ok. As long as you're alright, only you know I didn't want you to feel awkward or some shit."  
" It won't be awkward Sal. Now c'mon I'm dying to meet Jess."  
They made their way inside and found the group at the back of the bar taking up the large comfy sofas there.  
Murr and Joey jumped up to greet her with kisses and had already got her a drink. Thanking them she found an empty space and met Jess as promised. She was loud and quite brash but Toni put it down to nerves. It must be difficult to try and fit into a group of friends and she was probably really nervous. They made small talk and Bessy joined them too. Toni did note that Brian hadn't said a single word to her since she had arrived. He was looking good. He now had a dark short beard covering his lower face and his hair was still as long and shaggy as it had been but it suited him. He spent the entire time with his date. She was leaning over him whispering in his ear and stroking his leg. He was enjoying the attention and they were sitting on a sofa by themselves kinda removed from the rest of the group. The woman was dark like Toni but had icy blue eyes. She was stunning with an amazing figure. She was wearing a tiny sky blue dress and had endless legs.  
Following her gaze, James, who was sitting next to her now , whispered " What you think?" In her ear.  
" She's beautiful."  
" She's not you Ton. "  
Smiling and pulling him into a grateful hug she turned to face him and block the sight of her ex eating the girls face from her sight. 

Much later Toni was freshening up her make up in the restrooms with Bessy and Jess. They really had hit it off and made plans to meet for lunch in the week. Just as they were giggling together at a joke Jess was telling them Quinn's girl entered. Giving them all the once over she said nothing and entered a stall. Jess pulled a face and they headed back out. Q was standing outside and Toni assumed he was waiting for the ice queen. She went to move past him and felt his hand on her arm. " Wait up Ton."  
" You go ahead. I'll be there now. " the other girls nodded and made their way back to the bar gossiping as they went.  
As soon as they were out of sight he started talking.  
"'Sorry I haven't called. Been busy you know how it is."  
" Yeah , so I see. "  
" She's alright Ton. It's just some fun."  
" Good for you Quinn. I'm glad you're alright. "  
" You seein' anyone?"  
" No. No time."  
Hearing the door open behind them Toni risked a glance back and sure enough it was her.  
" See you."  
" Yeah. Bye Ton."  
Making her way up the corridor into the bar she heard them talking and left them behind.  
The rest of the night was uneventful and Toni watched Murr pull a cutie too so left early after cementing the plans to meet the girls on Thursday for lunch. She said her goodbyes to the guys but not seeing Q or his date she shrugged and asked Sal to say goodbye for her. 

Thursday rolled around and as promised the three ladies did lunch. It was in a quiet little bistro in Brooklyn and they swapped stories and gossip. It was fun. Toni really liked them and they filled her in on all the little details she had missed while not seeing the guys. The filming of the show was going well and the TV company were happy so far. They were talking about the best time to air it but nothing had been decided as yet. Sal and Jess were still getting to know each other but she liked him and was hoping that it would become something more soon. She admitted to the girls that she wasn't the tidiest and had a habit of leaving her shoes on in his house. It wasn't intentional just normal to her but she knew it drove him crazy. Toni laughed knowing how keen he was about shit like that and just advised her to kick them off when she saw him do it. Things with Bessy and Joe were good too. They were talking about moving in together soon.  
" So whadda make of the girl with Brian the other night? You and him had a thing or something right?" Jess was direct , Toni had to give it to her.  
" Yeah we did. But we're just friends now. She seemed a little standoffish I guess"  
" Shit! She was bloody rude. Didn't say a goddamn thing to anyone , acting all superior and then we caught her giving him head round back at the end of the night "  
Toni spluttered and her soda threatened to come back up. Laughing together the girls paid the bill and then headed off promising to meet again soon.  
No sooner had Toni arrived home she started to feel sick. Fearing food poisoning from the prawns she had consumed for lunch she headed into the bathroom and promptly threw it all back up. Slowly getting herself back together she waited for it to happen again. Gradually she felt better and made her way into the bedroom to lie down. Stripping off she threw the covers over herself and lay there for a while holding her stomach. It seemed to be settling and her mind was working overtime. She had eaten the same as Jess and wondered if she was ok. Scrambling for her bag she found it , retrieved her phone and fired off a text 

Hey Jess. Are you ok after lunch? I'm feeling rough.

A few minutes later she heard the ping go off and looked at the reply. 

I'm fine. It was delish. Are you ok? 

I think so. No worries. See u soon xx 

Ok babe xx 

She was feeling a little better so got up and went to put her phone back in her bag. Dropping it in she picked up her diary. A thought had just sprung into her mind. Cursing herself for not thinking of it sooner , she was a fucking doctor for christsakes , she looked back through the previous month to find she hadn't noted her period. She usually tried to keep note of it so she knew when to stock up on tampons but flicking back and fore she didn't see anything for July. Her last period had been at the start of June. A few weeks before her night with Q. Starting to panic slightly she changed and headed out to the local drugstore at the end of her block. 

Much later she was sitting on the side of her tub looking at the positive pregnancy tests lined up next to her.She hadn't believed the first one, but six tests later told her without any more doubt she was having a baby. 

Quinn's baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. I did think prehaps her getting pregnant would be a little obvious and I don't want to seem lazy. However Toni wants a family and I like to think that it seems natural. I've had some lovely messages about the story so far and I want to thank you for taking the time to write them xx however don't be shy to let me know what you think. 
> 
> Not sure wether to expand under this story or leave it here & start the next chapter in Toni & Brians story in another separate story. Let me know what you'd prefer xx


	32. Breaking the news

Toni sat on her situation for a couple of days whilst she got it together. She had text Brian a couple of times to ask him if he was free for coffee but hadn't received a reply. She assumed he was working and tried not to stress. She had to tell him this in person. Until she heard back she wouldn't tell anyone else. 

She had been working too but after today she was off for the next few weeks to move back home. Her Dad and Carol had found a fantastic bungalow in Orlando and had signed all the papers last week. They would be heading off down there on the weekend. Toni and Mikey along with Dane and Kris would be helping them pack everything up and then helping Toni move in. She had worked on and saved up her leave allowance to make sure she had time to re paint and sort out everything properly. 

Friday rolled around and it had now been over a week since she had found out. She had started taking folic acid and although she was healthy anyway she dropped her caffeine and ate more veggies. She wanted to give this little one the best start in life. She knew immediately that she wanted this baby. She was about to turn thirty four and most of her friends and colleagues were already parents. She just had never met the right one. Now here was this miracle , made with the last person she would have ever guessed, and she intended to nurture and raise the child to the best of her ability. She just prayed that Brian would feel the same way. She intended to tell her father her news before he left tomorrow so time was now growing short. Feeling bold she pulled on her jeans and a vest top and after finishing her breakfast she decided to head to Brian's house. It was time to tell him. 

It was a lovely warm day and the drive was easy enough. She had missed the hectic rush hour and she cruised across the bridge. From there it was a steady drive. She passed his station house and looked for his distinctive red Jeep but not seeing it she headed on towards his place. Not long later she pulled up outside. His car was there on the drive but there was also a silver Toyota that she didn't recognise pulled in behind it. She was glad he was home. Taking a deep breath and giving herself a pep talk in her head she climbed the steps up to his front door and rang the bell. She could hear movement inside and waited patiently. Finally a few minutes later the door was opened by the Ice Queen.   
" Hi. I'm Toni we kinda met at the bar last week. " Toni smiled and offered her hand but when it was ignored she dropped it awkwardly." I was actually hoping to see Brian. Is he in? "   
The woman, Toni still didn't actually know her name yet, didn't attempt to move from the door and didn't call Brian.   
" What do you need him for? I can give him a message."   
" If he's here I'd actually prefer to talk to him myself." Toni was starting get get a little peeved at the attitude but kept a reign on it.   
" He's not. Call again" and with that the bitch shut the door on her.   
Toni stood on the porch for a full minute as it sunk in. That cheeky cow! Realising she was going to get nowhere with this one she stomped back to her car and sat down thinking on her next move. Hunting out her phone she rang him. Immediately to voicemail. Fuck.   
" Bri, it's Toni. Give me a call when you get this ok. It's important. Thanks bye"   
Feeling impotent but knowing there was nothing else she could do at that moment Toni headed down to her dads to see if there was anything she could do to help them now. 

Arriving at her home she let herself in and found her dad and Carol surrounded by boxes and bags. They were working steadily packing everything away. They had already given a lot of the bigger furniture pieces to Mikey and Chanel and shipped some stuff to Frankie. Now it was just some larger stuff to put in the trailer in the morning along with these numerous boxes and they would be done. She helped them wrap and pack up carefully and they chatted along as they worked. When they stopped for a break they headed for the kitchen. Sipping a cup of tea together Toni decided now was the time. She had tried to tell him first but hadn't been able to reach him. Tough.   
" So I have some news."   
" Oooh did you get a promotion Toni? You deserve one all the hours you're in there."'  
Toni smiled at Carol and shook her head.   
" No. Nothing to do with work. It's more personal."   
Her Father smiled at her. " Something to do with our dinner guest from a few weeks ago?"   
" Yeah. Yeah it is but I don't know what's going on there yet. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is that .....I'm pregnant."   
She waited for them to take it in. When realisation dawned Carol scooped her up in a giant hug and her father joined them.   
" That's amazing news baby. Oh my lord it's Great. Wait though, we're about to leave."   
Carol looked at her husband and shook her head " We won't go. We can't go now."  
" Don't you dare!" Toni told them " you are going. I'll be fine and like we already said you'll be back here all the time."   
" This is so exciting. When are you due?"   
" Honestly I'm not sure exactly I haven't seen a Dr yet but I will be seeing one soon. I think I'm about five weeks. It's early days."   
" What about Brian? " Trust her Father to hit the nail square on the head.   
" I haven't been able to get hold of him yet. He doesn't know. Neither does anyone else so let's keep it to ourselves for now ok."   
They agreed but her father advised her to talk to him , today if possible.   
" Yeah I will if I can dad but it's complicated."   
" If it wasn't with you two I'd be worried."   
They got back to work but carried on discussing the exciting news. Toni was glad to get it off her chest. 

Having done as much as they could for the day Toni headed off leaving her Dad and Carol to relax and get an early night before the big move. They waved her off and she decided to try and get hold of Brian again. Checking her phone she found no messages or missed calls so she drove back over there. Pulling up outside she was relieved to see just his car in the drive. Bounding back up the stairs she rang the bell and knocked as well just to be sure. A few moments later the door opened and there he was.   
" Hey Princess , come in." He stepped back and she entered past him.   
" Thanks. Did you get my messages?"   
Brian closed the door and turning she noted the puzzled look on his face. " Messages?"   
" Mmmm. Multiple actually."   
" I've left my phone at Fran's place so if they are on there sorry I haven't seen them"   
Fran. So that's her name.   
" Yeah well anyway I'm here now. We need to talk. Did she tell you I called over earlier?"   
" No. What time was that? I've been here all day."   
" I was here about eleven this morning. You were here?"   
" Yeah. Haven't been out all day."   
" yeah well that's a hell of a guard dog you have then."   
Brian shook his head " You jealous?"   
" Not in the least. Trust me."   
This wasn't going as she hoped and she took a moment to get back on track. Pushing her annoyance at Fran down she took a deep breath.   
" You want a drink or something?" He started towards the kitchen.   
" No , thanks , I just need to talk to you. Can we sit down? "   
" Yeah come through."   
She followed him out and after he had got his own beer they sat at the table.   
" So what's up?"   
She looked at him aware that what she was about to say would change his life. They would be different. They wouldn't be the same people anymore.   
" Bri, you know the day of Coney Island."   
Grinning and winking at her he nodded " How could I forget?"   
" Bri. I'm pregnant." 

He almost choked but managed to swallow. He stayed silent but his mind was turning , a thousand thoughts filled his brain. Was she serious? Is this a joke? No. He took in her expression and it showed no sign of humour. She was serious. Holy shit.   
" And what are you doing about this situation?"   
Toni nodded her head. She had her answer. It was her 'situation'. She should have known but had hoped for more. She watched him watching her and took in the fact that he wouldn't meet her eyes for longer than a few seconds.   
" Well I'm having a baby Bri. My situation is that I'm pregnant and I'm having a child. You are that child's father. You had the right to know so now you do."   
He was peeling the label from his bottle. Concentrating on that so he didn't have to look at her.   
" Is that all you have to say? Nothing to add?" She was getting mad.   
" Do I get a say on this?"   
" That's what I'm offering you now Brian."   
" I've never thought about Kids. " it was a lie and he didn't know why he said it.   
" Time's come Quinn."   
"Honestly? I think you should get rid of it. You and me we're not right. You said so yourself. It's not fair to raise a kid like this without both parents to be there for it. You're busy , so am I . We don't have no time as it is. How are you supposed to look after a kid too?"   
Toni nodded her head. Looking down at the table to regain her composure she held back the tears threatening to drop through sheer will.   
" Ok so now I know where you stand on this. See you around Q." She rose throwing her chair back and practically ran from the room.   
" Shit." He followed her quickly trying to grasp her arm and pull her back but just missing. She threw open his front door and did actually run back to her car.   
" TONI! We need to talk about this. "   
But it was too late she slammed her door and was peeling off and heading down his street.


	33. Talk

" Holy Fucking Hell!" Brian had run back inside and retrieving his car keys he sped off after her. His mind was still racing trying to get his head around the bomb she had dropped on him. Thinking about it he probably could have been a little more careful with his words but Jesus it wasn't everyday that a girl turned up on your doorstep and told you she was having your kid. He was frantically trying to figure out where she would go. Home? Her Dads place? Something clicked over in his mind and he went with it. Ten minutes later he pulled up in front of Danes house. Sure enough her car was parked outside. 

Kris was in the window. " He's outside Toni. Do you want me to get rid of him?"  
Toni looked at Dane who was temporarily at a loss for words. She had shown up not even twenty minutes ago swearing and kicking things and eventually calming down she had told them everything. They were still riding the waves of emotion with her but she had now stopped cursing him out. Shaking her head no she stood " No Kris it's my mess. I'd better clear it up."  
" Toni you're in no condition to argue with him. I'll go out there."  
" I love you for caring but it's fine." And with that she went out to start again. Dane and Kris couldn't help themselves and followed after her standing just inside the lobby door as she went out.  
" Quinn you can just fuck off"  
" Listen here Flash you can't just go driving off like a crazy person. You're carrying my baby."  
That stopped her dead in her tracks.  
" We need to sort this out. Now. We're both adults and we're capable of rational thought right?"  
" Right."  
" Okay good. Now do you want to talk here or back at my house?"  
" Yours then."  
" Are you riding with me?"  
" No. I'll meet you back there."  
" Ok. I'll be there when you're ready." With that he turned and walked back to his Jeep.  
Toni sighed feeling a little dumb. Now he was trying to act like a grown up and she was freaking out. Heading back inside the guys both hugged her and offered to go with her.  
" No I need to do this alone. But thank you both so much."  
She collected her bag and car keys and as she turned to say goodbye and leave Dane said " So I'm godfather right?"  
Toni nodded " You both are!"  
" Right, Kris fire up the laptop we are baby shopping tonight!"

She took her time going back. As she arrived she could see he was sitting in the porch steps waiting for her. She made her way back up to join him. Sitting down next to him he started talking.  
" Look. I don't really know what to say or do here Toni. "  
" You made your feelings pretty damn clear earlier Brian. You want me to get rid of..."  
She couldn't even bring herself to finish the sentence.  
" I was freaking out. I don't know what I'm saying. Ok. But there are things to think about Toni."  
" I know that. Do you not think I've been through this in my head enough already. I'm financially stable. I can support the baby on my own if needs be. "  
" Oh so you think I'm some kinda deadbeat now?"  
" NO! I don't but I need to know that I can manage on my own. "  
"'And what happens when we're working?"  
" Childcare."  
Brian snorted. " Those places are no good Toni. You hear bad things."  
" Like what? I've never looked into it but I've never heard anything bad. There's one in the Hospital and I know loads of people using it."  
" What about us?"  
" What?"  
" You and Me Toni. Are we gonna try? A child needs a Dad too."  
" You can still be an amazing father without being with the mother you know."  
" What if I want to be with you? We can still try. But you don't fucking want to."  
" Oh I'm sure the delightful Fran would just love this conversation. This isn't about us Bri. It's about the baby. It's no good for it if we're together just for the baby's sake."  
" It's nothing to do with her. This is about us and our baby."  
Toni looked at him then. Properly. He was watching her intently. He meant it she could tell. There was determination in his eyes.  
" It never, ever works out Bri."  
" So we work on it. Yeah I'll screw up. So will you. But if we try it may just work.Give it a chance at least."  
" I need to get home.I'm up early tomorrow."  
" Tell me you'll think about it and we'll talk again tomorrow.Please."  
" Ok but I don't know when I'll be free. I'm helping Dad and Carol pack up and then I'm bringing some of my stuff over."  
" You're moving back to the Island?"  
" Yeah. Back to my house."  
" You didn't tell me."  
" I haven't seen you."  
" I'll come over. Help you out then we can talk again ok?"  
" Ok if you want to. I'll be there early but whenever..."  
" I'll be early ok. Look do you want to stay? I don't want you getting too tired driving around all the time."  
Shaking her head Toni declined " Thanks anyway"  
" See you tomorrow then."  
" Yeah. Night Bri."  
" Night Antonia." 

He waited until he saw her tail lights disappear then made his way inside. His stomach was still churning with anxiety but he was glad he had managed to get some of it off his chest. Picking up his car keys again he headed back out. He had to go finish things with Fran and pick up his stuff from her place. Christ she was going to be pissed. Gearing up for another huge bawling out he made his way over there.


	34. Coming Home

Brian was early as promised. He pulled up outside Frank and Carols home just before eight. It was light but he saw no movement inside the house so decided to wait until the others got here before knocking the door. He didn't want to wake them. He was inspecting his busted phone- Fran had thrown it at him the night before- and trying to get it to switch on so he didn't notice Frank until he was tapping on the car window.   
" Good Morning Brian. I take it you're joining us today."   
" Yes Sir. I mentioned it to Toni last night."   
" So you've spoken to her? We're all on the same page?"   
Nodding his head he realised Toni must have told him the news.   
" And how do you feel about it ?"   
" I admit that it was a shock.I don't think I reacted the way I should have. We haven't been dating or even seeing each other regularly, but I've been thinking a lot since last night and I would like us to raise the baby together. "   
Frank looked at him. He was sizing him up but Brian didn't flinch. He meant what he said.   
" The situation is not ideal . I'll give you that. I've always liked you Brian. And I know you mean a lot to my girl. She won't admit it. She's stubborn like her Mother was. But I know she holds a candle deep inside for you. Just look after her and the baby for me when I'm not here."   
" I'll try my best."   
" Well alright then. Come on inside and have some breakfast. She'll be here soon enough." 

Toni arrived with Mikey a half hour later. If she was surprised to see Brian eating with her family she didn't show it and helped herself to some juice. They sat and chatted together but no one mentioned the pregnancy. Gradually they rose to start the heavy lifting. Toni and Carol did the washing up and final packing away of everything from the kitchen. Everyone was busy and they got the job done fairly quickly. Brian had come upstairs to collect the last boxes when he spotted Toni in the back bedroom. She was looking out of the window into the large back yard and daydreaming about all the happy days she had spent there playing with her brothers and friends.   
" Hey Princess you ok?"   
Turning quickly he thought he saw her wiping at her eyes but didn't mention it.   
" Yeah. All good. Thanks for coming by today it's been a big help."   
" No worries. Listen when they set off do you want to go grab some lunch? Only we still need to talk."   
" Yeah ok. "   
Brian headed back down and Toni followed not long after. 

Toni didn't hide her tears as her Dad and Carol, finally all packed up , said their goodbyes. They had already made arrangements to come home for Thanksgiving but still, they would no longer be just a short drive away. Mikey wrapped his arms around Toni as their Father beeped his horn three times as was their code and they headed off for the sun. Not long after Mikey left too promising to be back next day to start helping Toni to prep and paint the house. Now it was empty it would be easier to do it all from top to bottom and get anything else needed done too. They waved him off and then after locking up Brian drove them to a local Deli they both loved. They were quiet on the short journey and Brian left her to her thoughts.   
Arriving they were seated and after ordering they started to talk.   
"So I finished things with Fran."   
Toni raised an eyebrow at the news. " I wasn't expecting that. How did she take it? You didn't tell her did you?"   
" No. No I didn't give a reason I just told her that was it and she threw my stuff at my head and out the window. Pretty good aim on her too. All in all just the normal break up shit."   
Toni could help but smile and Brian let out a short laugh.   
" So what now Princess? Have you had any more thoughts?"   
" I'm still kinda messed up Bri. It's a lot to get our heads around. I'm gonna concentrate on sorting out the house for the next few weeks and when that's all sorted and I'm settled then I'll think about everything else."   
Brian nodded. He could understand that.   
" Well when I'm not working I'll come over and help you paint and move everything around. No worries there."   
" Thanks. I appreciate it."   
With that the food arrived and they talked about other things. The filming was going well and Joey was doing the editing stuff as they went along. They had a meeting with the TV people in the next few weeks about scheduling and stuff so hopefully they'd know more then. They were also going to do a few live shows, just in the local area and he asked her if she wanted to come along. Toni agreed and asked if she could bring Chanel with her. She had a feeling she needed a night out soon or she was gonna blow. Of course Brian agreed and said he would sort out however many tickets she needed. 

Dropping her back at her house to pick up her car he leant over to kiss her and to his relief she let him. It was a sweet kiss and it felt right. Not wanting to push his luck he told her he would ring her with his work schedule and they could arrange to meet up and sort out the house. She waved him off. 

Toni wandered through the house once more and mentally planned out what she needed to do and buy to make it just the way she wanted it. She had a lot of plans and knew roughly how they would fall into place. She would have her old room back and the one next door would be the nursery. She felt a sense of peace as she looked around her. Home , there's no other place like it.


	35. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni and Brian should be joining together but they find themselves drifting apart.

Brian looked at the tiny form on the screen and held Toni's hand just a little tighter. It was the first time they had seen the baby and now the realisation hit home. This was a child. A few short months from now that alien looking blob on the monitor would be a real human being who would be depending on them for a very long time.  
Leaving the clinic they were reassured that all was looking fine. Toni was now ten weeks into her pregnancy and the baby was due on the 7th of March.   
" Are you alright Bri? You were pretty quiet in there." They were still not officially a couple but had been spending some time together just as friends and getting along reasonably well. She sensed he was still in a little bit of denial up until now.   
" Yeah , Yeah I'm fine. Listen are you ok to get back from here ? only I gotta get back to work"   
" No problems. "   
Brian hurried away back to his car leaving Toni watching him. She could tell that he was freaked and didn't want to push him. Clutching her notes and the precious scan pictures she headed back to work herself. 

Much later that night Toni arrived home and headed straight upstairs to shower and change. The smell of the Hospital was really getting to her these days and she couldn't wait to leave it in the wash basket. Emerging fresh and clean she headed downstairs to fix herself something to eat. The house was really coming together now. Every wall and ceiling had been freshly painted thanks to Mikey and Brian. It turned out that her pregnant senses couldn't stand the smell of the paint and having thrown up constantly on the first day they had insisted she sit it out. All the woodwork was glossed. New carpets in the bedrooms and she had put down new wooden flooring downstairs and new tiles in the kitchen and bathroom. Well actually she had gone all out in the bathroom installing a decadent roll top bath and a huge new shower. It was Toni's idea of bliss.   
Mikey had wondered why she had asked him to hold off on painting the middle bedroom but when he took delivery of a crib the week after it became clear. He , Chanel and the kids were thrilled. Toni also rang and told Frankie who sent her a huge bunch of flowers in congratulations. Now everyone knew they just had to wait for baby to arrive. 

A week later Chanel , Dane and Kris joined Toni as they watched a Tenderloins live show in New Jersey. It was the first chance Toni had gotten to see the show and they all really enjoyed it. The guys were great and the place was full. Emerging from the theatre after the curtain dropped Toni and the others went to look for Brian to offer their praise. They were directed to a meet and greet area by a bored looking teenager and found the guys lapping up the attention from fans. Mostly women. Toni suppressed a smile knowing that they would be loving this. Kissing Joe and Murr and dropping a wink at Sal, who was trying and failing to avoid handshakes she hunted out Brian. Spotting him she made her way over.   
" Hey! You were really something up there. "   
Brian looked up briefly from the autograph he was signing " Thanks. I didn't think you'd come tonight. " he was distracted and wasn't even looking at her as he took photos and shook hands.   
Toni was confused by his words " Why wouldn't I ?"   
But Brian wasn't even listening and was now too busy talking to a curvaceous blonde in a hot red dress.   
Chanel noted the way this was all going and put her hand gently on her arm " C'mon babes. They're busy. Let's leave 'em to it and hit the bar. You can't drink but I sure as hell can."   
Nodding her head Toni followed her out but she was stung by his dismissive behaviour.   
Sitting at a table with her family and clutching the soda in front of her she tried to ignore the voice in her head that was telling her to be seriously annoyed with him. She didn't want to fall out with him now but she wasn't going to be treated like that. Chanel watched her sister and knew just what she was thinking.   
" You ok?"   
" Mmmm. Am I overreacting Chan?"   
" Well it wasn't particularly polite to ignore you like that but he was overrun."   
" Yeah I guess." Toni decided to leave it there. She was probably just a little sensitive. Her hormones were jumping a little too easily these days. The four of them sat and had a good laugh for a few hours. When they finally left it was nearly one in the morning. Heading into the car park they all got into Toni's car. Being pregnant meant that you were automatically the designated driver. As Toni made her way around to the drivers side she saw Brians Jeep still parked up. Ducking her head in she told the others she'd be back in a sec. They all nodded and carried on talking.   
Toni made her way over to the car and immediately regretted her impulse to do so. Quinn and the blonde were making out in the front seats.   
He must have sensed something because as she turned to walk back to the car he stopped groping the girl and looked out to see Toni walking away.   
" I'll be back now. Stay here." Leaving the blonde he got out of the car and called out after her " Toni!"   
Toni pretended not to hear him and carried on walking.   
" Hey wait up. "   
He had caught up with her.   
" Sorry you had to see that. You know how it is right? We're cool right?"   
" Why would I give one fuck what you're doing Quinn?" Toni's tone was icy. She did actually give quite a few fucks but she didn't want to and was not about to admit it to him.   
" Hey look. You know the deal here. Friends remember? We got nothing going on."   
" I am aware of that fact. I just thought your standards were a little higher. Look I don't care what or who you do. I just won't be treated like nothing while you end up with just any old random from the audience of your show. You don't get to dismiss me or this situation."   
" I'm not fucking dismissing you. I'm living my life. You don't want a relationship with me. You've told me time and again so you don't get to say anything about who I bang."   
Toni just looked at him and it was enough to stop him from saying anything more.   
She turned and walked back to her car then drove away without another word.


	36. Trying again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will it work out this time?

Brian took the Blonde home more out of spite than desire. Toni had taken away his urge to have sex with her with the glare she had given him. Getting rid of her as quickly as possible he had to admit that she was probably right. The girl didn't really hold up under brighter lights.   
He found himself sitting in the dark as he turned the whole thing over in his head yet again. This baby was a real thing. It was coming. He would be a father. He would have to face up to his fears and responsibilities and soon. It wasn't just the baby though it was Toni too. Even though they kept telling themselves and each other that they would be friends and they could get along without any drama tonight proved that was bullshit. He kept thinking about the way she had looked at him. A mixture of disappointment and he was sure more than a little jealousy. He had never thought of himself as a jealous guy but if he had to put himself in her shoes he wasn't sure he wouldn't feel the same way. He tried to imagine Toni dating, even eventually marrying someone else and he felt a knot form in his gut. He wouldn't like it. Hell he would go all out to stop it happening. So he understood how she reacted earlier. They had to sort this out once and for all. Either be together or stay the hell away from each other. Being in the ether inbetween would eventually drive them both nuts. 

On his first free day he headed over to her house. He knew she was scheduled to be on a rest day too so was hopeful to catch her in. Knocking the door loudly he didn't have to wait long as it was thrown open by Carla.   
" Hey, Carla. It's been forever. How are you?"   
" Brian Quinn! Well well well. Go on in Daddy, I was just leaving anyway. Nice to see you. We'll catch up soon." And with that she made her way down the path to her sedan.   
Brian stepped into the hallway " Toni? "   
" I'm in the kitchen."   
He made his way through to find her sitting at the table clearing away the scan photos she had just been showing to Carla.   
" Hi. Can I come in?"   
" Bit late for that isn't it? Can I get you a drink?"   
" What you got?"   
Toni headed for the fridge as Quinn sat down. Bringing him back his favourite peach tea he grinned.   
" You know me so well"   
" Yeah lucky me."   
" How you feeling Princess? Everything ok?"   
" I'm fine. How are you? Any STIs you should be concerned about?"   
" Hey! No need for that. I'm clean as a whistle. I didn't sleep with her. You put me off."   
" Me! I told you I don't care."   
" Yeah well, I didn't come here to talk about that."   
" Then why did you come here?"   
" You gonna meet someone else Ton?" He hadn't planned on bringing up his thoughts but his mouth engaged before his brain sometimes.   
" I'm not planning on it. I'm pregnant. I'm not out looking for dates."   
" No. I know. But one day you'll want someone around. It's only natural. And let's be honest Toni, you're a knockout. You'll meet a great guy. A Doctor probably and you'll move on. "   
" Is this a Quinn pity party or your way of saying you want to go do that right now? Cos if you want to meet someone else I can't and I won't stop you. "   
Quinn shook his head. " No, shit this is going all wrong." Taking a deep breath he continued " Toni I'm gonna say this just once more. After this I'm never raising it again and we move on."   
" What is it Q?"   
" You and me. Seriously this time. Can we give this a shot? Hear me out now. It's not just about the baby its about us."   
" Go on" she was watching him intently.   
" Right. I've been thinking about it. A lot. I would like us to be together properly. We really try this time. Yeah it won't be all hearts and flowers all the time but I promise to try and do right by you and the little one. And you, you gotta promise to try and keep your temper in check when I fuck up. Which I probably will at some point.And so will you so I promise to do the same. You're not perfect either. I really do love you Toni. I always have. Even through all those times we weren't even speaking or seeing each other we have a connection you and me. I know you feel it too."   
Toni didn't think she'd ever heard him make a speech like that before. The main thing that stood out was him telling her he loved her.   
" I love you Brian that's why you annoy me so much."  
" So are we gonna do this?"   
" Yes."   
" Yes? "   
Nodding her head she agreed with him again. He moved in closer to her and they kissed. Softly at first then more urgently as they felt the insistent stirrings of lust course through their bodies.   
Taking his hand she led him quickly up the stairs and into her bedroom. Disposing of their clothes without saying another word they fell onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs kissing and tasting each other for the first time since they had conceived the baby. There was still no visible sign of the life growing inside her but Brian was aware of it. He kissed her stomach.   
They made love in near silence just the occasional moan or soft sigh escaping their mouths. It was if they didn't want to break the spell. When they were spent and laying side by side only then did Toni dare to speak.   
" Thank god. I've been so goddamn horny."   
Laughing loudly Brian dropped kisses on her lips again and replied " You only had to ask Princess!" And then they went in for round two.


	37. What does every story have? An ending....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationships are just two unperfect people not giving up on each other :)

And so they tried. They worked at it .There were times over the next months that they drove each other insane. He lost count of the times in the first few weeks that he had to go outside to calm down and swear loudly. As Toni's pregnancy progressed she alternated between grumpy to horny to a sobbing mess sometimes all in the same hour. It was exhausting and she didn't even recognise herself . For his part Brian finally learnt to go with the flow. He was staying with her but for the moment had decided to keep his place too. You know just in case.  
They spent time with friends and both of their families. They dated. Movies and shows. Meals out and cooking together. Just the two of them in the house playing computer games .And sex. Lots and lots of sex. She was a mass of hormones and he found her to be incredibly sexy. He really didn't know how he would react to her swelling stomach but as she grew larger he found it didn't effect the way he saw her. She was beautiful. They learnt to connect and communicate properly. They calmed down. Time passed quickly and the pregnancy progressed smoothly. They decided to wait to find out the sex of the baby. Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went with visits from Frank and Carol and Frankie too. 

Toni's hours in the ER were cut down at her request. She was positively huge by January and she found that to run around like she had been doing was impossible. She was still active in the Hospital but found she was now more likely to be directing others rather than jumping up on crash carts herself. She missed the adrenaline rush sometimes but knew that she'd be back at it soon enough. It was nice to actually know, that for the moment she could leave at a decent time in the nights. 

A week before the baby was due Toni started her maternity leave. She wanted a week to chill out before the baby came. Her friends at the Hospital held a good luck party and showered her with good luck wishes and gifts. Toni was genuinely touched at how thoughtful everyone was. Her baby shower with her friends and family was being held on the weekend coming.Chanel had arranged everything and all Toni and Brian had to do was be there. 

Saturday dawned and Toni was up early. She found it hard to sleep these days and the baby seemed to be most active at night kicking and rolling over as they watched the tiny hands and feet push out and ripple her stretched skin. She had a long shower and sent Brian a text to remind him that they were due at Chanel and Mikey's house at two. He was working and had been since yesterday morning. He was due home soon.  
She was all ready to leave and still hadn't heard back from him. She checked her phone but there were no messages and no missed calls. She didn't want to call the station as she knew it was frowned upon. Sighing she resigned herself to going to the shower alone and she headed out cursing him under her breath all the way there. 

She reached her brothers house and noted it was unusually quiet. Checking her watch it was quarter to two. The place should be filling up by now. Suddenly worried that her baby brain had let her down again, she was getting so forgetful these days, she had sick feeling that she had the wrong date. No it had to be today. Right? Getting out of the car she headed up the drive and knocked on the door. From inside she heard a " Come in" so she entered.  
Chanel was there but there was no sign of anyone else.  
" Hey girl. What's up?"  
" Chan. Wasn't it supposed to be the baby shower today? "  
" Yeah but there's been a change of plans honey. Come with me & don't ask no questions."  
" What the hell?"  
" Come on now"  
Toni followed Chanel back out of the house and they got in her car.  
" Chan, tell me what's going on. Did you change the venue? "  
Smiling but not taking her eyes of the road Chanel nodded but said no more.  
Toni knew she wouldn't break her so just sat back and thought about the direction they were headed in. 

Pulling up outside Brians firehouse shortly after they were greeted by all her friends and family. The firefighters were all there to. Brians family. Sal and Jess, Joey and Bessy, James. Her Dad and Carol were there and Toni had to wrap her head around what she was seeing.  
" Oh my god! How did you arrange all this?"'  
" I didn't baby. Brian sorted this whole thing himself"  
Fighting back tears she hugged Chanel fiercely and then hopped out of the car, albeit more slowly than normal to cheers and greetings from her nearest and dearest loved ones.  
As she was passed from her Father to Frankie to Del and Carla she saw Brian waiting patiently for her.  
He smiled at her. Taking her hand , he then turned and addressed everyone.  
" Ladies and gentlemen thank you all for coming out here today."  
Everyone grew quiet and listened.  
" Antonia Santiago. I have known and loved you since we were both seventeen years old. Granted , there have been times where we haven't been in each other's lives. That doesn't mean you weren't in my heart. I believe in fate Toni, and it has always brought us back together. You accept me for who I am. I love you more than anything in this whole world and I would be the happiest man alive if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife"  
" Yes! Absolutely yes!" Toni was sobbing, she could stop herself. Throwing her arms around his neck they kissed to the whoops and cheers of the gathered crowd. 

On March 14th 2011, Brians 35th birthday , Toni went into labour, Brian at her side throughout, and after a gruelling twelve hours, gave birth to a baby boy. He was a whopper weighing in at nine pounds and seven ounces. He was perfect. Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. A mop of dark hair. After much deliberation and a lot of argument in the last few weeks they had settled on Danny Michael Frank Quinn. Brian looked at his son and his soon to be wife and realised that his life was actually just beginning. Everything in the past just didn't count. This was his future, their future, and he intended to make it a good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww. I hope you have enjoyed the story. xx


End file.
